Mel & Mic Talk: New Beginnings
We can't believe we're starting Season 3 of The Kindling Project Podcast!
Lots of exciting updates and a special announcement...Mel & Mic give an update now that their kids are off to college and share what's in store coming up this season.
Including:
- TKP's very first in-person event
- New website and TKP email newsletter
- New opportunities and resources for women to start taking action
Tune in to see what upcoming changes you can take advantage of, we can't wait to see what you uncover.
Listen to the full episode:
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Monica: [00:00:00] Hello, fire starters. Welcome to season three of the Kindling Project Podcast. I'm here with Mel, and this is Mick, and we are so excited to be hosting you on season three. Mel, what are we thinking? How are we feeling about
Melissa: this? I really can't believe it. I think I, we're almost up to 50 podcasts and we're living our best life.
Hopefully. We're this business, this media company, the Kindling Project is taking off in all these different exciting directions and I'm just so grateful. I'm grateful to be here with you and for all the women we're meeting in this community and the contacts and the connections we're making.
It's just super exciting.
Monica: It is definitely exciting. So tell me, how are you feeling about being a podcaster? Do you call yourself a podcaster at this
Melissa: point? I think it's kind of like similar to the social media thing where I almost feel a little self-conscious or a little embarrassed. Like, oh, everyone and their cat's doing a podcast and I just don't want the eye rolls, [00:01:00] but, I'm going into it.
I mean, I think the conversations and identifying the guests, that is the fun part for me. The storytelling. As you know, today, we're not using video and that's really my preference. I still haven't warmed up to a camera. I. Oh yeah. I know
Monica: it's so hard, but I am enjoy, I love telling people I'm a podcaster.
For those who know me, it seems very natural because I've, all, my friends and sisters have always called me Barbara Walters my whole life, and they weren't always saying as a compliment. They were always like, here she comes full, loaded with questions. But I do love to ask questions and I am just a really curious human being.
So for me, this is like, This is fun. This is getting in the sandbox and just playing. But you are right. I do get a lot of looks like, yeah, you and everyone else, I suppose there are tons of podcasts out there, but you know, Mel, to our credit, not a lot of them survive and. To your point, we are going on like, what number 50.
And [00:02:00] we're still doing this. And we, it's not just you and I doing this, like, you know, show here we are getting some really awesome women to join us and share their stories. So it's
Melissa: a lot of fun. That's the best part of it. Right. You know, I still think of us as like baby giraffes, like we're still kind of a little wobbly on our legs.
But I was talking to another more seasoned podcast. About this. And she was saying, you know, that's where you grab your audience when people can grow with you and they see your vulnerability and that you're willing to make mistakes. So I'm gonna take that little kernel of wisdom. I
Monica: agree. And I also share with everybody who will listen Anyway.
I love the podcast for one of the main reasons. It's because you can see the transition from episode one to this. How we have grown into it and we're still getting better and we're not, it's not perfection yet, but always to be able to look back and say, gosh darn, look how far we've come and we are getting better and we are doing this better.
So that's a lot of fun because for a lot of people, Mel, as you know, they [00:03:00] look at us and say, well, I don't know what I wanna do. I don't know what I wanna start. I'm not like you guys. I can't do it. And I always say, actually, you're just like us. And we're no different. And the only difference between you and Mel and I is that we went for it.
That's it. We didn't have training in this. This wasn't something that we went to school for. You just learn and you grow. I'm feeling Mel, like we need to actually have an entire episode to share all our fails, because I think sometimes people just look at your wins and they see. The perfect website you design, and I mean, people comment on the beautiful website all the time.
I'm like, well, it's a good thing my partner has, is a, has a brain agency and knows how to do this so well. But the point is they just see all the bells and whistles. They don't see the in-betweens of like pulling our hair out, learning almost in tears, figuring things out. So if we feel like we should just need to put it all out there and.
So we can demonstrate that in between all of this. It's a lot of heartache too, and it's, but we still are really excited about it and we do it
Melissa: anyway. [00:04:00] Yeah. Well I think 'cause we're keeping it fun. I'm trying to remember that this is also kind of a passion project or a hobby or an interest, right.
It's not a job. I mean, it is a job of course, but I'm just reminding myself, Hey, I'm doing this with my. Best girlfriends and the coolest women, and for all the right reasons, and that's what makes it worth it. Right.
Monica: True. But I mean, you've ran many businesses. Wouldn't you say that your wins are equally matched by your not so great
Melissa: days?
Oh, for sure. Every day. Every day. I'm on 12. 13 years of this agency and you know, every other day at least there's some hair pulling. Yeah. And like, even though I have a brand agency and I know a lot about design and I've been a creative director for a couple decades now, I mean, I'm learning new software every day.
You know, I have been the art director of. Dozens of websites, but I'm actually building this website in Squarespace, which is a new software for me. And I mean, I struggle. Things that probably take 30 minutes can take me four hours at least, hopefully only the first time. [00:05:00]
Monica: And I, why I am sharing this with our audience is because there's always a learning curve and life should always be a learning curve.
It should never be so easy that you are an autopilot. That is when I feel like, okay, maybe we stopped growing and maybe we need to reset and rethink our strategy about anything we're doing
Melissa: in life. You know, you and I are totally on the same page about
Monica: this. Okay, Mel, so also another news, empty nester.
You dropped her off, you packed her up, you gave her hugs and squeezes. You had some tears. Tell me about that. How
Melissa: did it go? Oh, okay. So as we've talked about a couple times on this podcast, my oldest, my daughter went off to college about a week ago, and early on in the podcast we talked to Amy. She sent hers off and you had already sent one of yours off.
And so I just didn't quite. I didn't quite know what it was gonna feel like, especially since the two of you had really different emotional [00:06:00] vibrations about your sons going off to school. So the summer was super busy. It was super busy with like the packing and the class picking and the registering and the designing the dorm room and just all the stuff that we do nowadays for these college kids.
The grad party, you know, the bank account. Like I just had a list of a hundred things I was doing for her. So I don't think my. Emotional temperature really got taken by me at least until I got home. So we got her off, we decorated her room. It was hugs and kisses and laughs and like have fun and we're so proud of you and bye-bye.
But this last week, I may or may not be haunting her empty room. I just kind of walk in there. I walk around, I look at things, you know, there's of course some things missing. Or the first couple times we set the table for just me and Matt and Miles, and there was no plate for Elise. It's an adjustment, right?
I mean, this thing that you have just had your heart. Heart set [00:07:00] on as a couple and as a family and as an individual raising this human being. I mean, not that we're done raising her, but it's changed dramatically in a week. She doesn't live here.
Monica: The first one's interesting. If you have others at home I mean, I really, my heart breaks around this time because, So many mamas out there are posting, like, I left a piece of my heart in, you know, in Toledo or wherever they drop their kid off.
And I feel that like, it really I feel it all now. I personally don't have those feelings, but I do appreciate that hug, you know, with that hug right before you leave him and you just squeeze a little tighter and you just know, you just pray like, please God. Let all the seeds I've planted.
May they just bloom as they will and you cross your fingers and give them a giant big kiss and walk away and hope for the best 'cause we've done all we can at that point in that particular moment.
Melissa: Beautifully said. Well, I mean, you did drop your baby off and it wasn't two hours away, it was a big plane [00:08:00] trip away.
How did that feel? Hot,
Monica: hot. Couldn't even focus so fucking hot. Melissa. I'm told Arizona, sorry, people in Phoenix, in Scottsdale. Tempe, O M G I was not prepared. Now I lived in Florida for three years, so I know hot. And by the way, I'm Laina. I'm from Honduras. I am pretty sure I know what hot feels like.
No. It's a fucking oven. Like no joke, it's hot. But I have to say the system is so beautifully handled there. Literally when I dropped my kid off in AR in Arbor two years ago, we were unloading and we were lucky to get one bin and, but it was up and down. Seriously, this system in Tempe, we pull up our car.
There's tons of people, I don't know where they hire them or volunteers. They literally come in, unpack my entire car, put it all in bins. They said, go, please go park. And we're like yes, thank you. And we show up to his dorm room and all his stuff is in there. So it eliminates so much of the [00:09:00] work and hassle.
It was beautiful. It's like valet, concierge. Boom boom. It was really well done. So very impressive. Good job, Tempe. Good job. Arizona State on that one. But in addition to the weather being like fucking really hot, have I said that already a million times? He was good. He was ready. So I was ready.
So I was just so excited for him. And you know, he is my baby, so I am, I'm, I do have a little bit of a softer spot for him in the sense where I may have literally babied him a little bit more than Logan. I. No doubt, but I'm like, Hey bud, just for a while, you know I'm gonna need a p o l. He's like a what?
I'm like, you know, a proof of life. Like every day I need like a photo, a little message, a little text. He's like, okay. And sure enough, every day I get my P o l and I'm very
Melissa: happy. Oh, I like that. You have a little nickname for that. Yeah, we've kind of been doing that and either, either I get it or Matt gets it, but we've been checking in daily and we also kind of.
Look at where her phone is on find my, we're like, oh, she left the [00:10:00] campus. She's at Myers tonight. Little bit of parental stalking. Hopefully that dies down. Oh
Monica: yeah. It will. I promise you it definitely will. I know. Here's the kicker though, right? I wasn't ready for this one, Mel, I've gotta tell you, it wasn't really me who had more the emotional.
Difficult time. It was my hobby. Kelly really struggled. It hit him. It hit him in a different way. I wasn't expecting that, truthfully, not that Kelly's not an emotional guy. 'cause he's very, I would say more so than most men, you know, he's not afraid to cry, for example, he. Hugs his boys all the time. He tells 'em he loves them.
There's a very open, emotionally, we're very open that way in our family, but I was not prepared for my husband, like choking up a bit like oh. This is it. You know, it happened, it fucking happened. Everybody tells you it's gonna happen. It happens fast, and then it does. And you're like, ha, they weren't kidding.
Melissa: I have heard this. I'm in a couple [00:11:00] moms groups, you know, over the years, the baby groups and the school groups or whatever, and a lot of women were reporting that their husbands took it harder than they expected. You know? Of course. Why not? They're the fathers, you know, we sort of expect them to keep a step upper lip, but.
You know, they got their feelings their identity is wrapped up in this parenthood thing. I think just as much as ours is
Monica: it definitely, especially for our generation, I mean, these dads really have stepped up in ways that we've never seen in another generation. So they're absolutely vested
Melissa: a hundred percent.
So we talked about the kids. What about the culture of the kids? Like I, did you look around these kids and try to see yourself in them or not? Find yourself in them? Like do you recognize them? Like I had this whole thought about who are these people that we raised? Like what are they? What's gonna be their impact on this world?
You know, we spent so much time talking about Gen X and millennials, but what about Gen Z? What do you
Monica: think? There's so many things about them that I love and admire. And there's so many things about them that [00:12:00] frustrate me and I don't get, but I suspect my parents probably said the same thing about our generation.
There's no sense of urgency, first of all, ever to me and for my boys. They just are very relaxed and anytime I get any sense of like deadlines of having things done, they look at me like I'm a fucking crazy woman. They're always like, relax, it's gonna get done. Or they're always very like, I need a break.
I need like this. They're very in tune with this work life balance. I'm like, what is that? You're 18 and 20 balance, you know, go to work.
Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I feel like they're getting the rest that we didn't get. They're always
Monica: sleeping, and they're funny and they're wardrobe and they're, I think you and I have talked about this at length, like what are they wearing or not wearing, or they're wearing like all these clothes, my nieces are these tiny little things.
They're gorgeous. They have these beautiful little ques and they're always like, oh, buy me, you know, I was at the Taylor Swift concert. They're like, please, and these sweatshirts, but make [00:13:00] sure the merch is extra large. I'm like, for who? They're like, where you wear, you know, it's like these huge, massive pieces of clothing that they wear to cover themselves.
And really like messy buns and they don't wanna really do their hair or makeup, but then they pow wow. Show up Friday night. You're like, dang girl. Where? You know, where have you been? Like these little sexy things. Ah, they're
Melissa: all over the place. You know, we were talking about like the baggy clothes and like everything's brown and gray.
And I'm like, what garage cleaning are you doing today in your grunge outfit? But I think it probably is a little bit of a resurgence of like the grunge look. From our generation. You know, I do remember shopping at Salvation Army and you know, wearing old grandpa sweaters and big flannels and boyfriend jeans and stuff.
So some of it is just a, you know, kind of, I think it's kind of an ode to us. It's
Monica: always right. It's owe calming back. I mean, thank God my youngest got over his mullet. 'cause he did that for like six months and I'm like, okay. I mean, he actually [00:14:00] made it work, but I was like, when we left for Arizona, he's like, it's time for the mullet to go away.
I am like, thank you, baby Jesus. It's, I'm glad it's over for you too, because the party's been over for me for a while now, buddy.
Melissa: Yeah, I think at the end of the day, My assessment is they're really a lot more like us than we were like our parents. I think they're like us, but better. I mean, maybe they're better because they've had to go through more.
I mean, they certainly have had a rough, you know, a rough go of it with all the stuff, you know, the political divide and the pandemic and, but what makes 'em better is I think we've kind of normalized like. Having feelings and going to therapy and saying when you need rest, and saying it's enough.
And gosh, it's taken us until we're 50 to be able to do it. And it's
Monica: honestly, we still struggle with it. We still struggle and we still struggle with sort of silencing our needs. Our wants where you, to your point, our kids. If given the opportunity, if they do not feel threatened, they will tell you exactly how they feel and share it [00:15:00] freely, which is a beautiful thing.
Melissa: Yeah, I mean, we hear it over and over again in this community with you know, grown women struggling to get in touch with their own feelings or their own passions or being able to speak out loud their desires and their. Dreams and their wishes, and I don't sense a lot of that. These kids.
Monica: Yeah.
And Mel, I mean, you have a girl, so tell, like when you speak to her, I imagine you only speak. Words of like, you can do anything you want in this world. Babe, you, the world is your oyster. You are 18. Whew. I mean, blank canvas. Go for it. What colors do you wanna draw? If you want colors, if not, that's fine.
It's a right. It's incredible the way we speak into our children. There are possibilities. Why do you think we stopped believing that for ourselves? I don't think we
Melissa: ever got that kinda pep talk. From our families, from our teachers, from our ministers, from our society. I mean, it was always more about conformity, you know, meeting other people's expectations, [00:16:00] being a good girl, not being impractical, whether it was finding a husband or having kids or having that career.
Just sort of these prescriptions for what you were supposed to do with your life. I don't think we've laid that out for these kids. I don't think we even know because the world has changed so much with the internet and with ai. I don't think we could even write a prescription for them. 10 20. 30 years down the road because who knows what that
Monica: looks like.
You're right. And the impact both either positive or negative of them growing up with a phone on their hands forever attached to that. And it'll be interesting to see how that
Melissa: transpires. So, all right. So we've touched on all the things. We sent the kids off to college, but we do have some big news.
We have some big news of our own.
Monica: So on October 19th, right here in Northville, we are hosting our very first. Event, live event for, it's called Kindle Her Fire. We're gathering amazing women in one [00:17:00] stage. We've curated the most incredible women to share stories, to really challenge the audience, all the possible barriers.
The women, we've heard 'em all. Heaven. We, Mel, in our community. We've heard them all, ladies, all the barriers, but we've got an answer for you. Not to shame anyone, but to inspire action. I think people are gonna be really excited. It's a full day event. Lots of speakers, lots of conversation. We're gonna have, we're gonna laugh, we're gonna enjoy some good food.
We're gonna network and we're gonna be inspired by some amazing women doing some fucking incredible work and hopefully my. Like wish is that everyone leaves that day, at least with one takeaway to say, okay, I can do one thing today to change the trajectory of where I'm going. I am going to do X, Y, or Z.
Melissa: I could not agree with you more. I mean, that's our why, right? We've more than kind of, we have stated, you and I in the kindling project, [00:18:00] we want to ignite 10,000 kindling projects. We wanna put a little fuel. We wanna spark a low fire. We wanna see women with all of their pursuits, whether it's, you know, I say this all the time because I get this feedback all the time.
I'm not gonna start a business in my fifties, or I'm not entrepreneurial and I really don't want the kindling project to limit itself to just entrepreneurial ventures. We love small business. We're a small business. I'm a businesswoman, but whether it's a business or a book or a creative pursuit, or you wanna run for office, you wanna run for school board, you wanna run for state senator whatever it is, whatever that little passion is that you have to get to now at kind of at your midpoint, you know, what's next for you that you would like a little kindling for.
That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna kindle her fire and that's our why. And The wear is pretty amazing too. It sure
Monica: is. We've partnered up with a tipping point theater in [00:19:00] downtown Northville. Anyone from around here knows that it's a precious little gem that we have in our local community of a theater.
And it's gonna host our event and we're hoping, you know, to have 125 people join us, 125 attendees that the cost is $125. It's a full day event. And it's again, October 19th from 10 till four.
Melissa: Where can people purchase a ticket?
Monica: Our site, the kindling project.com you will be able to go under events and click right onto Ticket Spice, and it's very automated.
You'll be able to get a receipt through your cell phone and reminders. We'll of course be posting it all over our social media. We'll include it on the show notes on this as well. And I will tell you, you may get sick of hearing about it because we will be mentioning this at every episode 'cause we're so excited
Melissa: about this.
But share it. Share it with your friends, bring a friend. Come hang out With Mick and [00:20:00] I, there's gonna be more on this later, but the women who have agreed to speak or perform or share their stories with our audience, I'm just so honored and humbled, you know, By them, by their generosity. I really think that it's gonna be just amazing.
And to your
Monica: point, Mel, like the support we've had from so many women I think is ultimately, like we always say, Mel, you know why they support us because they are us. They feel it. They see it. We are one. We all understand. We know the struggle, we know the internal shatter in the, you know, that's going on in our heads.
The negative self-talk, the self-doubt, the self con, lacking self-confidence. We've all been there. And the only difference between, like I've said earlier when we first started the podcast is someone like Jenny Federer, who's actually doing it is that she did it anyway. She did it anyway. She stepped over the fear, she stepped over the self-doubt and she did it anyway, and women like her.[00:21:00]
Why they're so incredible successful and like all the women that are gonna be on our stage is 'cause they always turn back and live and bring someone else along and says, yes you can. And that's what we're doing too. It's like we're not leaving anyone behind. No matter where you are in this journey, there's a place for you in our stage.
Melissa: Perfectly said. And if you are interested in sponsoring the event, reach out to Mick and I. We're definitely looking for local sponsors, national sponsors. Any business that aligns with the kindling project mission, you know, is a perfect fit for us. And we will make sure that you have great access to all of our communities, whether it's the podcast the Facebook community A presence at the event, a presence in the gift bag.
You know, whatever your level or interest is in. If this is something that appeals to you, please don't hesitate to pinging one of us. We're easy to find. Yep,
Monica: we sure are. This is so it's, isn't it fun? I mean, we're really into finishing all the marketing for it and working so hard to make this happen and lining up the speakers.
It never gets old [00:22:00] though. I love it all. I love the planning. I love the long days. I love the idea that we can get a hundred twenty five, a hundred forty women in a room, Mel, and for them all to walk away, it transcends, right? They go home, they're better partners, spouses, parents, sisters, employee, all of it.
Like all of it. I, it, I just think it's incredible. It's
Melissa: super exciting. It, you know, I've done a lot of big things in my career, whether it's launch a big website or design a gallery in a museum, or You know, annual reports and creating brands and all of that's been super rewarding, but there's another layer of reward and resonance when it's our passion project when it's for women.
I, I just feel like you and I are really aligned on this of, okay. We can make a lot of big things happen, but we're making a big thing happen that we're really in alignment with. Like, I wake up at four 30 and I think I probably should go back to sleep, but I'm thinking, oh that [00:23:00] should have been this color.
Or, what about this photo? Or I'm gonna call the intern and see if she can work this up a little differently. And I just have that energy about it. And so I hope that we're communicating that to, to others and that they get on board. Yeah,
Monica: I, I, exactly. Exactly. It's really exciting. It's fun to be So, tell me, Mel, what are you visioning or what are you hoping for season three?
Melissa: Well, I know we've been mixing it up, we've been trying different podcast lengths, you know, is 20 minute. 30 minutes, 50 minutes. We've also tried some podcast swaps with other podcasts and I think you and I teased this idea where maybe once a month we're gonna do sort of a fireside chat on the podcast where there's five of us just sitting around the microphones.
Like we would be sitting around a campfire or sitting on a patio with cocktails or, you know, whatever that looks like. Having some of those woman to woman conversations, sort of like the sex and the city girls.
Monica: Right. No, I love that. I think I reme when you proposed that it really, I sat with [00:24:00] it and I'm like, that's exactly what we need to do.
Mel's right on point there because I think sometimes, We need to constantly be sending that community vibration. And that's what we are. And we've always said, it's never been about your voice or my voice. It's the collective. Collectively we can do amazing things and we can also learn from each other though and we need to have more of those open conversations.
Melissa: Well, and I do think it's why communities like ours are so. Popular and prevalent, and whether they're business focused or they're religious focused or they're community focused, people are craving community, maybe like never before maybe 'cause we're all working so much. I don't know all the reasons, but it's certainly something that we just get the feedback over and over again that people are looking for more community and that's why we're building this one.
So,
Monica: okay, so we are gonna do a little more fireside chats. We're going to continue to interview some really incredible women. We've got a few already lined [00:25:00] up. We are also going to try to highlight some of our fire starters, right? Males in our community. Some of the women that have raised their hand and said, You ladies are talking my language, and yes, I do have a passion project and this is it.
How can you, what can we do? What? How can you help me and how will you support me? And so we're gonna highlight some of those case studies because that's also been a lot of
Melissa: fun. Oh, I'm down for that. I know you and I have some segment planned. We're calling Spark segment for the event. And I'd like to do that on the podcast too.
Course, continue to highlight women who have achieved an amazing kindling project for inspiration, but also highlight women that are at the early stages of a dream or a tug or just an inkling of an idea. And see what we can do with that, where we can go with that in a community kind of way.
Monica: Yes.
So lots of fun things. Planning, you know, plan for our listeners. Also, lots of things for you and I to just still learn. We, I mean, how much do we learn from [00:26:00] our guests ourselves? I'm constantly taking notes, thinking, oh my gosh, that little nugget of wisdom. I am gonna just, Tuck that right in here and keep it with me.
Melissa: I agree. I agree. That's another podcast idea. So
Monica: real. It's from real women really doing it, really walking the walk, and that's why I love it. Okay,
Melissa: so season three sounds exciting. The event is super exciting and we just really appreciate you all and we hope you'll be coming along for the journey. Yeah, so
Monica: thank you for listening.
Keep listening, subscribe, like please share this with your friends. Don't keep it all to yourselves. Also, join our online community. That's where things are really happening. That's behind the scenes. That's where you can really share everything that's happening in your world. We want to support you. We want to uplift you, so please join us.
Make sure you invite a friend. That's a really fun place to hang out to. That's
Melissa: the Kindling Project Ignite on Facebook and the link will be in the show [00:27:00] notes. Great.
Monica: Alright, Mel. Well I think that's a wrap for now. Okay. Talk to
Melissa: you soon, Nick. All right. Bye. Bye.