Exposing human trafficking through storytelling
Human trafficking is a heinous crime affecting millions of people worldwide. It is an issue often hidden from the public eye, and victims are silenced by fear and shame. Khalila, a survivor of human trafficking, is on a mission to change that. She believes ethical storytelling can be powerful in exposing this issue and helping others find freedom. Through her work and advocacy, she is shining a light on the darkest corners of human trafficking and inspiring hope for a better future.
Khalila's story of exploitation by her own family is a hard truth that sheds light on the realities of human trafficking. Listen as she shares her trauma, forced into sex labor against her will. Khalila's raw and honest accounts will have you in disbelief.
And while her experience is not unique, Khalila's determination to spread awareness and inspire others to act against human trafficking is remarkable.
Human trafficking is a modern form of slavery that affects people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. It is a complex issue that requires a multi-faceted approach to eradication. Khalila believes that by telling the stories of survivors, we can break down the stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding human trafficking and inspire others to take action. Khalila is determined to move beyond the statistics and recognize the humanity of trafficking victims.
Khalila's long-term goal is to establish a refuge for victims and survivors of human trafficking will inspire you. She plans to provide a haven for children, young girls, and women affected by this issue. Khalila hopes to help survivors find their voices and rebuild their lives by creating a supportive and nurturing space. Her vision includes global outreach, recognizing that this international need requires a global response.
Khalila reminds us that we all share a responsibility in the fight against human trafficking, and by supporting Khalila and others like her, we can make a difference.
**Disclaimer, topics in this episode include personal accounts & stories dealing with sex crimes and abuse**
Connect & Support Khalila:
https://www.khalilariga.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/khalilariga
https://www.facebook.com/KhalilaRiga/
https://www.instagram.com/khalila_merrissa/?igshid=NDk5N2NlZjQ%3D
https://www.instagram.com/lightindarkness.sos/
Listen to the full episode:
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[00:00:00] Monica: Hi everyone. So excited to have you here, Mel, and today we're joined by the really amazing guest Khalila Riga. Welcome to the show.
[00:00:10] Khalila: Thank you. Hi, great to be here.
[00:00:13] Melissa: We're so honored to have you and I know you have a super important and heart-wrenching story.
[00:00:20] Monica: Yeah. Kalia, you are a survivor and an advocate in the fight against human trafficking. And as a survivor, you bring a unique perspective on the issue and you have dedicated your, the last, what is it, eight or nine years? To really giving a voice to those who have been silenced, who are living in silence and in fear. So you say that since leaving the life, quote unquote, you have worked in the anti-trafficking field to help others leave exploitation. Can we just start there? Jump right in and let's let's talk about this life that you found yourself in also. Defined for the audience, what is human trafficking?
[00:01:01] Khalila: Sure. So human trafficking has a legal definition. But we also have a little bit of a broader understanding of what human trafficking is because it's hard to fit it into this neat little box that we put it in. Right? And so human trafficking by legal definitions is, you know, it has three main components and that's coercion, fraud, and means, and the means drops out when we're talking about anybody that's a minor, because then means, doesn't have to be present according to the legal definition for human trafficking. And then also for clarification for the audience, when I talk about the life or the game, that is the reference of human trafficking and that is how it's defined by those that have lived that lifestyle. So those that have come out of it, that is what it's referenced, right? So it's the life, the game that is a common terminology that is used within that world so to speak. And so, for me, you know, my history, it didn't begin with trafficking, is what I say my life was, my history was interrupted by traffic. So at the age of three I was sold into adoption. So, it's a gray market adoption. So in that world, you've heard of black market, people are very familiar with that. And then there's a spectrum that people are unfamiliar with. So you have a black market, you have a gray market, you have a white market and then you have some other things in between, right? So on your white market, those are things that are done legally, that's, you know what I mean? The legal trade of things. Things that are just done legally. Black market, obviously that's very underground. You know, usually that's something that's taken and sold on the black market. Right. Most people are familiar with that. Gray market is where I drop in at, right? So there was an arrangement made, it was passed off legally but it was still an illegal matter that happened. So, my mother dropped me at an emergency shelter. She left my dad didn't tell anybody in the family where she was going or what she was intending to do. And met some people and facilitated this adoption, had me placed with people that were not US citizens. They didn't speak any English. I didn't speak any Spanish. And at the age of three years old here I went with these people that I didn't have any connection to. She didn't have any connection to. And this was facilitated by government systems and my mother. And so people have a hard time wrapping their minds around that because how could our government be, you know, complicit with that? But in human trafficking, Well, we paint this picture and the media has done a great job of painting this picture of it just being, you know, the movie Taken for example, right? We see, oh, these girls go off on vacation. Somebody snatches them and they end up in this brothel and they're drugged and all of these things. Or we see You know, here in the US somebody's going to take your kids, they're going to offer them candy, or someone's gonna say, Hey, come help me look for my dog. Right? So we teach all these stranger danger things, but in reality, right? We have judges, we have law enforcement, we have pastors, we have teachers, we have, you know, mothers, fathers, grandmothers that are all complicit people that are that are selling and trading souls for their own purposes. And that's a really hard thing to take a look at. You know, and so in my case, those people helped facilitate that. And so I grew up believing that these people were my parents cuz I was too young to remember anything else. And so I was used for their purposes, there were male friends of the family that were in and out and I won't be a graphic.
[00:05:23] Monica: So for trafficking, there's either sex trade forced labor, domestic servitude. Do you believe that your biological mother gave you or sold you knowing that you were going to be abused in this way?
[00:05:39] Khalila: I don't believe so. And the reason why I have that belief is because God was so gracious to restore me back to my family when the timing was right, when I was in a place where I could receive that and where I could have forgiveness for all of the things that I would come to learn about my life. And so the very first words that came out of my mother's mouth were, did you have a good life? That's all I ever wanted for you. So do I believe that my mother did that knowing that this was going to be the trajectory that my life was going to take? No. Does that change the nature of what the crime is? Also No. You know what I mean? And that's why I say human trafficking doesn't always fit into this neat little box, right? Because you know, gray market adoptions you know, and people will talk about surrogate mothers being trafficking in nature because in a way it is, right? Your eggs are meant for the purpose of procreation of giving life, right? So when you take those and you harvest them and you're selling them you're still selling something that's intended to be a human being, right? So it, it carries that nature with it. So to answer your question, in short, no, I don't believe that she thought that would ever happen, and I believe that's the reason why she and I currently do not speak anymore. I think that the amount of guilt and shame that comes with learning, all that's happened to the child that you tried to potentially do right by. You know, went out the door. That said, I think there's some underlying things that maybe I don't know about that. Maybe there's something more to the story that maybe she did know. Something that I don't know about. She chose to eliminate herself from my life. And I think that a part of that came with knowing I was going to learn what had actually taken place, and that would mean having to own any responsibility for her action. And so, even still, she could call me today, she wouldn't have to explain anything because at the end of the day, the amount of love and respect and honor that I have for my mother will never change. I love her still. And at the end of the day, she's still my mother. She's still the most beautiful thing that's walked the earth, and I will never doubt that she had the best intentions.
[00:08:12] Monica: I love your messaging is about forgiving and letting go of the past, so you can be who you are meant to be today, but take us back. Do you remember the first time that things just didn't feel, I don't even know what's normal for a three-year-old, four-year-old, five-year old, but did you just, when did you have that sense, like something feels off?
[00:08:31] Khalila: I don't think that I recognized how off things were until I was a bit older. Because I understood that this was not normal behavior for a five-year-old. Right? So I can recall being, and I had to be about five years old, roughly, cuz I don't have consistent like, very clear memory. So they're kind of fragmented and I can't identify the age, but I can like picture myself, right? To kind of guess what age I might have been, but I don't know five year olds who pack up their things and try to run away no less than three times a week. That's not normal for a five-year-old, most five-year-olds cling to their parents. Right? And because that's their safety net, right? So for a five year old and onward through life to be running constantly tells me there's something wrong with that situation. I can remember classmates thinking that my quote unquote, parents were my grandparents. And I thought, well, that's weird. Why would you think that? You know, but it wasn't until I self-reported the day after I turned 11 and went into state's care. The second time that things were reported, I think is when I really started to kind of notice that I don't really look like you, like I kind of look like you, but something's not right. Right? I began to ask questions and the first question that I had was, well, am I adopted? And it got real quiet with her and she says, well, why do you wanna know? I said, well, that's a weird way to answer a question if I'm not adopted. Even being young, even being 12 years old, I understood that's not how you respond. Right. And I said, well, am I or aren't I? She didn't really answer and she just kind of went on with it and so I remembered her telling me stories and I remembered only meeting his side of the family and never her side of the family, cuz we were always traveling to go back overseas to El Salvador regularly because they weren't US citizens. They had to keep going back to get to get their visas, I guess it would be renewed or whatever it is that they had to have in order to still stay in the us. And so we were there three, four times a year that I would have to travel with them to get that.
[00:10:56] Melissa: Were you the only child in the house?
[00:10:59] Khalila: Yeah. Yeah. Thankfully.
[00:11:02] Melissa: Do you believe that you were adopted for this express reason to be trafficked?
[00:11:09] Khalila: I can't see any other reason why I would've been, you know, when he passed away and I learned about it and I learned about it from the internet because I had cut off communication with them back in 2013 or 14. And I found out in 2017 that he had passed away. And I listened to the funeral service and I read the obituary and there was no mention of me. There was no mention of my daughter. And I thought, well, what do you mean? But in the service they stated that they had been survived by a son named Herbert. Which for Spanish people from Central America I'm sorry, you don't have a son named Herbert! Not only that, I've never had a brother named Herbert! You know, and some grandchildren named Devin and some other, and so the names were like, these are definitely not your grandchildren. These are definitely not your kids. But there was no mention of me. There was no mention of my daughter.
[00:12:11] Monica: And even though you mentioned that you had disconnected from them because you had now at this point in your life, you understood the abuse that you lived under? Did it just feel to you like, oh, once again, I was never anything to them. They don't even validate me on his obituary. Is that sort of a feeling, like, is that what you're feeling? Like They don't even see me. They've never seen me for a human being.
[00:12:32] Khalila: Yeah. Well, and so it's odd because at that point I hadn't learned yet that I wasn't their kid. So I didn't know yet that I didn't belong to that family biologically. So like I had suspicions, right, of not being biologically theirs. But even in the back of my mind I thought, well, you know, maybe it's like an inter-family type of adoption thing, was kind of my thought. Because there was a cousin I remembered from growing up, and he and I looked a lot alike, so I thought maybe it was like that type of thing.
[00:13:08] Like maybe he and I might have been siblings and like mom couldn't take care of us, so they split us between the families, so that way we would stay within the family because I knew that was a common thing with families in general, regardless of what, you know, nationality, it would be six months later. Because I was talking with my husband's stepmother and was sharing just a little bit of my story with her cuz she and I just hadn't really talked a lot about things to that degree. And she was kind of excited and she was like, well, let's find out your heritage. And I said, okay. You know, because to this point I was like, well, I don't really know what exact nationality I am like, I believe that I'm Latin American, you know, because that's what I was raised. I speak Spanish fluently, I read it, write it. I'm embedded in the culture here or the community rather. And so she bought the 23 and Me Kit and I got it in the mail and I did the thing and sent it off. And I was working at Zales at the time and got my results back. they send them digitally. And I got the results back and I was a mess. I started bawling instantly because it said 0.0% Latin for every single country. And so I had these results staring at me that now not only was I not their child at all, I didn't belong to the family at all. I wasn't Latin anymore. And now I have nowhere to call home. So it was multiple losses, like all at once. And so within a six month period, you know, I have the physical loss of him, right? Because even for all of the abuse and even for all of the trafficking and even all of that, I had already forgiven him, right? And I was heartbroken that I had not been able to be by his bedside when he passed. And that I had not been able to be there in some way to help you know, which a lot of people look at me like I've lost my mind when I say that because who wants to be at their trafficker's bedside to help them through that process or to help care for them, right? But I did.
[00:15:19] Monica: I think it's part of being being able to put things in compartments and you still very much wanted to be daddy's little girl and have that real, you know, that honest healthy relationship. I actually have spoken to a lot of victims who do still have a deep connection with their parents who've abused them because of that, you know, there's still that wanting, that yearning to have a healthy relationship. So I can understand that. Now for you though, khalila, you endured, did your mother ever your adoptive mother, did she ever take part in the abuse?
[00:15:57] Khalila: Her levels of abuse were significantly different, right. So when things would happen, for example, like the random beatings and different things like that like she would always come in on the backside and it was this, it was a weird like coddling and the like, well, You know, you shouldn't have done this or you shouldn't have done that. So there was always the victim blaming, right? But then she would always do these other very odd things, which I didn't understand. I kind of knew when I was young that there was something weird about it. But I, instead of understanding that there was something weird, I took it on as there was something wrong with me. And so like I can remember her taking like different types of ointment and like trying to reshape my nose, right, because my nose wasn't the right shape. Knowing now that because I'm part African American is why my nose is shaped the way that it is, but because they're not, and because where they're from, particularly their section of Latin America, their noses don't look like mine. In an effort to make me look more like them, right? I didn't look right, so I needed to be reshaped. Cutting my fingernails and toenails back on purpose to where anything I touched was painful. Fix my hair and like make it not wild and whatever, it was. You know, so different random things that, that, that were done. Had anybody on the outside actually taken time to really invest or understand signs to look for, they would've seen that something was deeply wrong and would've called and reported and said, Hey. Something's not right over there and somebody needs to investigate and they would've kept calling.
[00:17:53] Melissa: Do you feel like other family members or community members were aware that this was going on or that it was hidden well?
[00:18:01] Khalila: So the twist on the family members is they were the only ones here in the us. Everybody else was overseas, so there was no other family members. There was nobody else to be over like that, to pay attention, and nobody was allowed in to the house to really see anything so, It was able to be fairly well hidden, right? But they also were active in their church, and we went to church regularly and did all the things that would be considered healthy things to do as a follower of Christ, you know, the Bible memory verses in raising your children up in the ways of the Lord, which for me, that became a form of spiritual abuse because, I no longer wanted anything to do with God because I associated God with my abuse and I didn't want anything to do with him. For me, how did my Sunday school teachers, youth pastors, whatever that looked like, how did they not notice? Right? How were they not more invested, but to that point, perpetrators and And people that are successful at their craft of being really good traffickers, which is a horrible thing to say, right? They're going to be able to hide it well, or they don't get away with it for as long as they do.
[00:19:22] Monica: Most traffickers recruit right on, not necessarily violence, they recruit on like true deception. And they go after you with the vulnerabilities of, we'll take care of you, like basic survival needs. You have an interesting second phase of your story where eventually you did step out of your parents' shadow or adoptive parent shadow and decided, no, this isn't working for me anymore, but it led into some other areas of your life. You wanna tell the audience about that?
[00:19:51] Khalila: Yeah. So I ended up in states care, which You would think is a good place to be. And for the most part , it was good because I was away from them, but that brought its own set of vulnerabilities and challenges because the people that work that system, I hate to say it, but there's burnout because they come with this expectation of they're going to rescue or they're going to fix it all. And they can't. And there's a lack of patience and they're not going to. So, what happens is they they enable and they coddle because they have this mentality of, oh, if I just give them this, then they're going to do X. Right? And what happens is because we as the victims have learned how to manipulate to survive, we turn around and become the ones who exploit. So, you know, at 14, my boyfriend was 22, boyfriend, I was willing to do anything for this guy. It didn't matter what it was. You know, and I wish I could tell you that I remember how that all came to end. No clue. I think I just moved on to somebody else because I got moved elsewhere and I, and cell phones weren't a thing. Right. So that was still a new thing, but coming out of the system just to kind of fast forward, I ended up in an apartment and I moved out and everything was great. And I had some friends that I met. One girl, her name was Jamie, and the other girl, I think her name was Nicole. But that may not have been her real name. I really couldn't tell you. But she was my neighbor. But we would hang out. We went and got tattoos together. We went to the bars together. I grew up in Vegas, so we went everywhere together. And in Vegas, if you're cute enough, no one's going to ID you. So we went and did everything together and it never occurred to me that I was being groomed in that process to break down barriers of what I was comfortable doing. And that process started early. That started probably tho those barriers of being broken down in those relationships and friendships started when I was in high school of, you know, oh, well come with us to go do this. And I would go and it was, well here, just jump in this back room. You're gonna hook up with and I was terrified. But I wanted so desperately to have these friends because I didn't have friends, and I just wanted somebody to love me and to be accepted that I was willing to do that. And so that's the nature of a trafficker. That's the nature of somebody who's grooming somebody is they can see what it is that's missing in a person to say, okay, this is how I get 'em. Right. Be their best friend, be this, and then I can exploit this and get them to break down. And so, you know, that turned into, well just come to the club with me, just come down so you don't have to really do anything. Right. You're just gonna get up there. We're not taking all of our clothes off. You're still gonna be in your underwear, so it's fine. Right? And so the translation then becomes, well, you're just in your underwear. It's just like being in a swimsuit. So you're just gonna dance around and then they're just gonna throw money at you. Okay, so there goes a barrier broken down deeper. I got into doing more and more that eventually led me into ending up at an escort agency. It led me into ending up into doing pictures that started out as well we just want you to put on heels and just walk all over this guy, we're not even gonna have your face in it, but we're gonna pay you $200 an hour. Well, shoot, sign me up! You know what I mean? Because again, it doesn't seem that bad, right? But the further that the barriers got broken down, the easier it was to pull me in. And by the time I knew it, I was involved in with the escort agencies, and it was, here's a pager, here's what you need to do. You need to answer it every time that we paid you. You need to go to this location. You need to wear X, you need to do this. You're going up to this hotel room.
[00:24:10] Monica: And I bet it's probably like the most average Joe. You know, like it's not some city guy hiring you.
[00:24:19] Khalila: No. And even in the strip clubs, like it's your next door neighbor. He's got four kids and he will sit there and show you pictures of his kids, talk about the one that's going to college and the little one at home, and how his wife is pregnant and all the things. Like nothing.
[00:24:37] Melissa: I was mentioning to Monica when she was briefing me on your story that I just got back from Vegas, and I don't know if this is true or not, but I was surprised how many warning signs about trafficking were in Vegas. In the airport, in the target, in the hotel rooms, in the elevators. I have never been to another city where everywhere I went, there was, are you being trafficked? Have you noticed someone being trafficked ? Here's how to recognize the signs of being trafficked. So I don't know if you know the data on this, but is Vegas a particular hub for human trafficking?
[00:25:11] Khalila: So it is, but here's what's very frustrating to me about that. Everybody looks at Vegas and Vegas is a particular hotspot, right? Just because of how accepted sex culture is in Vegas. I mean, if you were just there then, you know, the girls are walking around as entertainers with paint on them for clothing, just paint. Right. So that means there's nothing else going on. They might have some pasties on. Right. But they're painted over. Right. So there's no clothing happening. There's tracks being handed out. Right. So yes it's very common. And because they're in and out of the hotels, the escort agencies and escort agency, I'm sorry if they're not an escort agency. Nine times outta 10, they're being trafficked. Nine times outta 10. Now, that said, what's frustrating to me about that is that level of, are you being trafficked should be in every city. It shouldn't just be there, right? Because for example, I live here in Ohio. We're fifth in the nation for trafficking. I don't see that kind of attention here. You know what I mean? And it's frustrating. So, I don't see that kind of attention in New York. And I have family in New York. Right. And I've been to the city, we don't have that kind of push there. Same thing in Chicago, same thing in San Fran.
[00:26:40] Monica: Backing up to when you were actually working for the escort, at your peak, what sort of money were you making? And I imagine that's one of the reasons you stayed is for that security of just having income?
[00:26:52] Khalila: Yeah. I mean, so because it's easy money you know, I mean, gosh, when you're making no less than three to 500 an hour, That's not chump change. Because there were, there was a time that I was working in the voyer houses, which sounds like a great thing. Oh, you get to move in, you don't have to pay rent, you don't have to do this, but you're on camera 24 7 and it's, why are you leaving the house? You have food here, right? Like you can have a night off, like you can go see your friends, but like you need to be back in like a certain amount of time because you need to be on camera. And so they're filming you all day, your every move. And if somebody pops online and says, Hey, I wanna chat, you're getting online right then and there. Immediately.
[00:27:36] Melissa: And are some of these activities that are happening through an escort service legal? Or is there, like, are they are they crossing the line of illegal? I mean, I'm not understanding this exactly.
[00:27:47] Khalila: They cross the line. they get away with it because they're saying that they're paying for, it's the tips that are negotiated by the girls. It's unspoken, but everybody knows, you're negotiating tips because you're doing way more than dancing, right? So they label it as a, you're just showing up as like a dancer and that's all you're supposed to be doing, right? And that's where your tips are coming from. Anybody who works for them, anybody who orders an escort. You're ordering it knowing that this is what the intent is.
[00:28:26] Melissa: And so before the escort service during your early childhood abuse, was there ever any prosecution or did anybody actually pay for any of those crimes?
[00:28:36] Khalila: No. He was actually successful in convincing four different therapists that he never laid a hand on me.
[00:28:42] Monica: And I read somewhere that most traffickers are never convicted of their crimes.
[00:28:46] Khalila: And what's really sad is even when they are, like, I just saw one who got convicted recently and this sentence was six years for trafficking a minor six years. And actually I believe he trafficked two minors, and I wanna say it was in Michigan. 12 to 14 is about the age that they get 'em started. Yeah.
[00:29:05] Monica: And really they're just vulnerable and lonely or broken, and they just, the way they do such a great job Khalila you can speak of this, of just grooming them and enticing them with gifts and flourishing. So now I just wanna bring back to the audience, back to where you are today because you're a very different person now. You are in advocacy. Tell us what was the turning point for you from old Khalila to this new like fierce woman making a real difference in the world.
[00:29:37] Khalila: Yeah. So, you know, I often say that it's kind of a happy accident the way that I came into my advocacy. There was a time even during my. My on and off period of exploitation and trafficking where I worked for a very short stint in Colorado for the rape assistance and awareness program. And I don't know if they're still around. But they were very grassroots. They had a home there and they had Attorneys that would do work pro bono for anybody that needed it, that was in a situation. And so that was like my first taste of that. But even then, I still didn't identify as somebody who like fit that category of need. But in 2020 when I found out that I had been missing for 37 years at that point, and I found out that my name wasn't my name, that my family had been looking for me. Just all of these things. Then I went to visit a very dear friend of mine in Indiana, and she was working at the time for Hope Center Indie which Hope Center Indie is a facility that has several different programs there. They have a program for Grace House Teen Challenge. And then they also have a program that works with trafficking survivors. And then they have a couple other things there on site. And so I went to go visit her for the weekend and you know, we've been friends since 98. And so I just went up to see her and the family and she said, Hey, why don't you come to my office with me? She's like, I've got some stuff to do, and I said, yeah, sure, whatever. She's like, we'll stop and get coffee. I said, okay, no problem. So we go and we run into a colleague of hers who at the time was a director for Grace House Teen Challenge, and she's like, oh, you should tell them your story. And I laughed and I'm like, I don't even know my story yet. Like literally it's been a month since I learned that I was missing. I don't know anything yet. I'm still learning my own story as it is. And she's like, that's fine. She's like, just tell 'em anyway. And I said, okay, fine, whatever. so I told them what little I knew at that point because so much has unfolded from 2020 to now. The lady says, I'd really like to talk to you later. She's like, can I give you my email? Can you get me your email? You know, she's like, I wanna touch base with you. And I said, yeah, sure. Okay. You know, whatever. So we go on about our day and. We run into some other people. These folks were from, it's called Take Heart now. It was called something else back then. And they're no longer the directors there, but she's like, oh, you should tell them. And I'm like, how many people are you gonna have me tell this story that I don't even know yet? So I get done telling them, and they're both standing there and they said, do you have time for an interview? And I was like, interview? I was like, I live almost two hours away. I'm like, what do you mean interview for what? She said, well, we need a case manager for our program. And I was like sure. I guess I said, but understand, I live almost two hours away. And they were like, that's fine. I said, okay, well I guess I'll come interview. So literally within like an hour of that, I'm having an interview with these people for their trafficking survivors program. And so I go through, I get it done. They offer me a position as a case manager working with trafficking survivors. Mind you, I have zero college, no experience as a case manager. And they knew that, and they said we're gonna train you. They said, what you have is what we call lived experience. And they said there's a lot that we can work with that. And that gives you rapport in a different relationship in a different space that you can come with to the table for these survivors that they have the ability to look across the table and see somebody who's walked where they've walked, and it gives them hope that they can come out of the other side, and they don't have to be this statistic or whatever. Society has told them that they have to be due to what they've walked through.
[00:33:53] Monica: That's wonderful. So what are some of the red flags that you try to warn and now educate people on for sex trafficking?
[00:34:01] Khalila: So one of my biggest ones is get off your phone. Like, we live in such a digital driven age and when I walk around and I look, what I see is people with their phones here's what's unfortunate about that, is nobody is paying attention to their sphere that they're walking in or that they're living in, right? So we're no longer intentional about having real physical relationships with the people around us. It's all become digital. So what we're missing in that, Are the nuances of people's expressions we're missing what nonverbal cues people are giving about what's happening in their life. And so when that happens, we miss some really critical thing. When we pay attention to all of the misnomers that are circulating on social media of zip ties on your car, marked windows, wrong number messages, sented roses that somebody gives you that you don't know or that are left on your vehicle, abandoned car seats, all of these different things that you see circulating on social media. When we're paying attention to that, we're missing the dejected teen. We are missing, you know, the lonely elementary school age child who's walking home and looks kind of disheveled or looks, you know, kind of lost, we're missing the barista that is usually really talkative and all of a sudden has kind of gone introverted. Or you know, somebody we see regularly that's kind of not around anymore, right? So we're missing all of these really critical things and we're, because we're busy looking for something that isn't there, and so we really have to be intentional about paying attention to. Our immediate surroundings in the relationships that we have with people.
[00:36:03] Monica: I was reading some of the signs online and it says, person seems overly fearful, submissive tense, or paranoid. Person is deferring to another person before giving information. Person has physical injuries or branding, such as name tattoos on face or chest about money and sex or pimp phrases. I thought this was a really good one, clothing isn't inappropriately sexual or inappropriate for weather. Documents are missing. I'm curious, what does your birth certificate say by the way?
[00:36:31] Khalila: I've never seen it. So that about missing documents is a big one. Which I, again, didn't really think anything of it because I have an id, I have my license, right? But I've never seen a birth certificate. I'm actively fighting with the state of California and have been for months to try to get one.
[00:36:53] Monica: And what do you think are some of the misconceptions about human trafficking?
[00:36:57] Khalila: When we look at human trafficking in a narrow lens of, it only happens one way. Or it's only primarily sex trafficking, and we look at it through Jesse's very one-sided lenses. I think we're doing a disservice, right? Because even though there are main components of human trafficking, there are 25 typologies of human trafficking, which those can be found on the Polaris website. But there's 25 of them. and yes, they kind of all branch out from those main ones of like the domestic servitude and the labor trafficking and the sex trafficking. But those are things to pay attention to.
[00:37:37] Monica: Yeah. The labor trafficking and for migraine workers obviously is a epidemic as well, and it's all wrapped up on this. So the work you're doing is so important. Where do we find you now? What, how do we work with you and how do we get your voice heard?
[00:37:51] Khalila: Yeah, absolutely. So, I do have a website it's kaila riga.com. I'm also working with Empty Frames Initiative. I recently co-authored a book the Story of Foster Care volume two, and it talks about the intersections of human trafficking and foster care. We actually have an art gallery that is touring across the US for those that are interested in hosting that. What it's comprised of, the book and the gallery is we have several different survivors that co-authored this book. We all have written pieces in there as well as our photographic or other art that correlates with our written pieces that's in the book. And then that is touring across the US so for example, for myself, I have 11 written pieces and no less than probably, I don't know, 30 photographic or artistic pieces that correlate with those 11 written works. Yeah, so it's pretty exciting. I know that We're going to be in Minneapolis. We're going to be in Toledo at the University of Toledo in the fall. We'll be in Minneapolis in the fall. So we've got a lot of exciting things. We're hoping that the book will be available very soon. It's in editing right now. We should have a pre-order link up in just a couple of weeks. And so folks that are interested can get on my website and subscribe, and I will be sending out emails for those that are wanting to get the book they'll be able to do that through there. And then hopefully I will have some some limited addition jackets as well that I'll be that I'll be selling for the site as well.
[00:39:35] Melissa: Gosh, I feel so proud of you that you're able to take a story like this and turn it into something creative and helpful and positive. It's really unimaginable for some of us that you're this strong and this optimistic.
[00:39:49] Khalila: Well, you know, I have to tell you, Melissa, it's because of God that I'm as strong as I am. God equipped me to have the strength that I do and without him. I don't have the strength to do what I do. God rescued me out of the pit and out of the trafficking and he didn't rescue me so that I could sit idle. And just do nothing. He rescued me so that I could go back and pull out the others and be a light to those that are still in the darkness. And so, as long as there is breath in my body and movement in my body I will continue to do whatever it is that God has asked me to do. And that is To spread his word and to let people know that there is freedom in Christ and that he can do anything with a broken mess. And I'm living proof of that.
[00:40:39] Monica: Well, you are so brave, and like Melissa said, I echo her sentiments in all of you. And we're so happy at the Kindling Project to support your voice, your message, and if there's anything we can do from our community standpoint to support you, please don't hesitate to ask.
[00:40:57] Melissa: I agree with that. I think that maybe there's some way we can continue to partner with you and continue to get your message out. If you haven't already, you're welcome to join our online community and share whatever parts of your story you're comfortable with or promote the book or promote the traveling art exhibit. It's humbling that Monica and I are talking about women's passion projects and many of them weren't born from trauma, right? It's somebody who wanted to write a cookbook or somebody who wants to start a cupcake bakery. And so it's quite humbling and you know, gives me pause to think, you know, your passion project really was born out of tremendous trauma, but triumph and faith. And so thank you so much for sharing that with us. I feel honored.
[00:41:43] Khalila: Well, thank you so much for giving me a platform and a space to share that and to hopefully bring encouragement and freedom to somebody else and hopefully give somebody else the courage to maybe speak up and speak out and not feel like they have to hide in the shadows if they have been you know, if they want a space to talk, if they need resources, if they just want to to reach out and say, Hey, maybe that was me. I'm here.
[00:42:12] Melissa: Yeah. It definitely sounds to me like listening to your story and how there's breaks in memory or some confusion that there probably are a lot of girls and women and I know it happens to boys too, where they have to identify themselves as being trafficked, that maybe it's not exactly clear if it's your parents or your stepparents or your boyfriend or somebody you love, that you're actually in this situation.
[00:42:38] Khalila: It's a hard thing to wrestle with, you know, and there's a lot of guilt and shame that comes with that. And for a lot of people, you know, I would say most survivors, a lot of them didn't realize that they were trafficked until being removed from it, is what I hear a lot with clients that I work with, is that they're unaware that's a situation that they were in until after the fact.
[00:43:03] Monica: Well, thank you so much, Khalila I mean, you're such a light, like you said, a light in a really very dark topic. So we really appreciate you and we appreciate your time. So thank you so much.
[00:43:14] Khalila: Yes, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you ladies.
[00:43:17] Melissa: Have a wonderful day!