Become an inflammation free warrior
From her small-town roots in Montana to Detroit, Melissa Coulier's (Mel to her friends) story will inspire you to pivot in the direction that fuels your purpose.
Mel is an award-winning photographer, certified fitness instructor, and Lupus warrior. She is co-founder of Living Well with Mel and Mel with partner and friend Melanie Samuels. Their mission is to provide an inclusive community that celebrates bio-individuality and uses all aspects of your life to manage inflammation.
Tune in as Mel shares valuable advice about functional movement, breath work, and using a bio-individual approach to achieving optimal health. She reminds us that transformation does not happen overnight, but you can lean into a healthier version of yourself with determination.
Her tips will have you feeling unstoppable! From setting up a morning routine to using your body weight for strength, her advice is about getting things done - no excuses allowed making her a powerful influencer worth tuning in for.
Check Mel out!
https://www.livingwellwithmelandmel.com/
https://www.movingwellwithmel.com/
https://www.instagram.com/melissacoulier/
https://www.instagram.com/livingwellwithmelandmel/
Listen to the full episode:
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[00:00:00] Monica: Hi Mel. Welcome to the show. I'm so excited you're here with us at the Kindling Project Podcast.
[00:00:05] Mel: Hi Nick, so happy to be here. Thank you for having me join you and your community today.
[00:00:12] Monica: So fun, girl. Listen, your event that you had, was that your very first workshop
[00:00:17] Mel: on Sunday? It was my first workshop pop-up event.
[00:00:20] Yeah. Thank you so much for attending. It
[00:00:23] Monica: was so fun. It was reclaiming your story, moving towards self-discovery through mind, body, and soul exercises, and you co-hosted with Kate Brian Milligan, who's adorable by the way. From One Girl Revolution. So fun. You guys make really great partners. And she said something while we were doing one of the exercises that, you know, we don't believe in coincidences.
[00:00:46] And I just thought, isn't that something? Because Mel, the way you and I met was just like that. We have a mutual connection and she just mentioned, Hey, she was on our podcast, Stephanie, she mentioned you. I had met this girl, Mel. She's so cool. She's got such a cool vibe. She's doing some really good work.
[00:01:04] You've gotta meet her. And we were like, oh, of course. We're always open to meeting new people. And then just like that, two days later, it wasn't planned. We were at a event together and you and I, we sat right across from each other. It was so meant to be. It was wild. Isn't that something? I just love when the universe lines itself up.
[00:01:24] And a couple more points about your event, which was so well done. I'm obsessed with the oats, by the way, aren't they?
[00:01:31] Mel: So good. Yeah. Is it the coconut milk? The coconut milk. Yep. It's that raw coconut milk. It's makes it extra thick and creamy. Ugh. So
[00:01:41] Monica: good. It's so good. And I've been doing them all week.
[00:01:44] And then I chatted with your neighbor friend Michelle, and she gave me this recipe for a peanut butter and jelly once, which is on my q2. So I'm really excited about that. And the third thought I had about your awesome event was that the title of it, reclaiming Your Story, moving Towards Self-Discovery Through Mind, body, and Soul Exercises.
[00:02:05] I feel like that's very much your story at the moment and what it has been for the last few years.
[00:02:12] Mel: It's so true. You know, I was a commercial photographer for so long and then through my discovery of, I was diagnosed with lupus in 2006 and struggled for years with it. And so when. I started taking a holistic approach to that.
[00:02:30] I realized that all of it really was a full lifestyle effect, right? It was the way I moved my body. It was the way I think about movement, the way I think about how I eat or what I'm eating, and then also the ingredients that I'm fueling my body with. It kind of was a little bit of everything, and I think so often, whereas especially with, you know, society and diet culture, we're so.
[00:02:56] Honed into thinking it's just one thing of you know, do this and not knocking any diet that's out there if that's. Your jam. But getting into these like only keto only staying on certain plans is not necessarily the most effective. If you wanna take a bio-individual approach to your health, because I do think it has to do with like your whole body and every aspect of how you're living your life.
[00:03:26] That's what's really going to set you aside from a temporary fix to sustainable health, curing that, that health that you're looking for, your optimal goals for yourself. Right?
[00:03:39] Monica: Yeah. So, okay, let's just back up a little bit because you, there's a lot to unpack there. I just picked up photography. Lupus and now this wellbeing.
[00:03:48] But let's, so let's back it up a little bit so the listeners get to know who you are. Where did we find you 20 years ago?
[00:03:55] Mel: Young Melissa. Livingston, Montana is where I was born and raised and then was really active, outgoing, always wanted to be a photographer. I was a very visual person. So leading into the twenties, where you kind of wanna begin is I had just graduated college for photography.
[00:04:14] Really looking to make that move to LA or New York, cuz I knew that's where the photography business is that I wanted to dive into. So where did
[00:04:22] Monica: you go to school?
[00:04:24] Mel: I went to school in Spokane, Washington and then moved back to Montana while I was trying to figure out like, what's this next move for myself?
[00:04:33] So
[00:04:33] Monica: are you like like Yellowstone living in Montana because I'm in obsessed with that show. And do you know Rip because you need to introduce me. Unfortunately,
[00:04:41] Mel: I do not know Cole Hauser, but I, yes. So if you're familiar with the show, Yellowstone or a River runs through it, that's exactly where I grew up.
[00:04:49] I grew up in Paradise Valley, which is where the show is based. They don't film there, but it's based
[00:04:55] Monica: there. Yeah. It looks. Amazing. What was it like growing up with that beautiful environment, that beautiful landscape all around
[00:05:02] Mel: you?
[00:05:02] You only know what you know, and so as a kid, I just, that is just that every day of the mountains were our playground. You know, lived on a dirt road. I raced sheep. I, you know, it was as small town as you can imagine. That's. That's my upbringing in my life. My father was a logger, so we always spent the summers in the woods camping for the summer.
[00:05:22] It wasn't till I went away to college and I was driving home where I was like, oh my gosh, this is where I lived. And it's just, you take it for granted, right? Every school trip would be Yellowstone National Park. And I remember as a kid being like, another field trip to Yellowstone. I'm so tired of Yellowstone.
[00:05:38] And now I'm like, how fortunate was I like. Insane. It was amazing.
[00:05:43] Monica: Did you come from a large family?
[00:05:46] Mel: There's four siblings. There's four of
[00:05:48] Monica: us, yeah. Okay. And you are where in the birth order? I'm
[00:05:51] Mel: second. Okay. Yeah, so there's older sister, then myself, my brother, and then a younger sister.
[00:06:00] Monica: Okay. So pretty traditional upbringing in the sense mom and dad and working little land. Yeah,
[00:06:06] Mel: somewhat. And then you know, as also I like raced motocross, but I also was a cheerleader,
[00:06:11] Monica: so no shit. Oh my God, that's so cool. I
[00:06:14] Mel: just was always interested in trying new things and adventurous, and I guess that stays with me, which kind of led me down the path of trying to address my health because.
[00:06:27] I wasn't able to move the way that I wanted, so I'll get back on track here to your question originally, but 20 years ago I was working at a bar in Bozeman, Montana actually, and applying for jobs in LA in New York and just trying to get some entry level position. And just so happens that I happen to meet somebody one day at work.
[00:06:47] This guy was. Dining at the restaurant. I'm walking by. He trips me, I fall on the ground. He picks me up and it's like just immediate banter back and forth. And it was like this, like instant connection, instant love. And my parents were there at the time. My mom's I swear, that looks like Dave Coulier from full house.
[00:07:07] I'm like, I don't think so. I'm like, what would he be doing in Montana? I don't know. And I didn't even really put the two together until we started continuing conversation. And then he's let's meet up tonight. And then we hung out for two weeks straight. Never even exchanged phone numbers. And then he just, Left town.
[00:07:27] He got my phone number from a mutual friend, I guess, and called me and was like, Hey, it was amazing. Like I wanna continue this. I don't know what this brings. We don't live in the same spot. And then I ended up getting to work in la, moved in with him right away, and then had this like instant fairytale moment of just my life was so.
[00:07:47] Crazy at the time, it just was a movie script. It was wild.
[00:07:50] Monica: So like literally you love for sight. It reminds me of a poem when I met my husband too, I just knew there was , an instant connection. When I first met him, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days rearranging my mind. So there'd be room for him to stay, and it is so sweet because you meet these people and you're like, I wasn't planning for you, but I've gotta work things around because you are staying in my life somehow.
[00:08:14] And he felt that way about you too. So you just leaped and went for it.
[00:08:18] Mel: Yeah, so shortly after I moved to LA like about six months later I was driving to work in rush hour traffic in LA and thankfully rush hour, you know how slow it is in la. But I had blacked out, crossed the medium was heading into a like to another car.
[00:08:38] And when I came to it was like, This weird feeling and pulled to the side of the road. And I had been experiencing a lot of different symptoms as far as just being in pain, a lot of hair loss rashes on my face and mouth ulcers. And I kind of chalked it up to this idea that maybe it was the move and so many new things were happening, my body was reacting to new environment, you know, so used to being at Elevation in Montana and now I'm at totally separate elevation.
[00:09:05] So I immediately went to the hospital and it was multiple hospital visits later and seeing different specialists that they came to realize that I had a blood clot. In my brain that caused me to lose vision. They discovered that all of the symptoms paired with the blood work and this blood clot that I had, lupus.
[00:09:25] And I hadn't really heard of lupus at the time. And for those of you who don't know, it's an autoimmune disease where your body that's perfectly healthy starts attacking itself, thinking that it's fighting off infection. So this can affect your joints, your organs Even your brain. So then it just became this thing of like, how do I cure it?
[00:09:48] How do I stop it? And that's when I just fell down that rabbit hole of medicating and using different medications to mask this pain and try and help these symptoms. And
[00:10:00] Monica: so tell me something. Set it up for me though. Okay. So you moved to la How old are you? I was 22. 22, okay. Young. And then, so how long are you there until you get diagnosed with lupus?
[00:10:11] Six months. Six. Oh, like
[00:10:14] Mel: fast. So poor Dave's what happened? Oh,
[00:10:17] Monica: right. The love of my life. Okay. For better or worse, I, this is my girl. He passed a test, evidently. Good job. Okay. So to, so you get diagnosed and then you of course. How we all respond is we trust the doctors. they write you scripts and you just start medicating.
[00:10:36] And how long did you do that and tell me about some of the episodes and what it felt like. Because I don't know what lupus feels like
[00:10:44] Mel: for me. And here's the lupus can look different for everybody, but for me it was I'd had these like intense bouts of fatigue.
[00:10:54] Mouth ulcers joint pain to the point where my joints hurt so bad in the morning. They were so stiff that like I couldn't even move them. Dave would have to massage my knees and my like elbows. I'd get these intense migraines that probably were like blackout migraines two to three times a week, where I was just around a toilet bowl.
[00:11:14] My joints started to fill with fluid, so I would get the fluid removed from them every once in a while. Stress and food. If I like had that combination where my body was rejecting whatever that food in took looked like, or if it was extra stressful that month, then I would end up in these crazy flareups where I'd go to the hospital, have steroid injections.
[00:11:34] Monica: you're dealing with all this, you're med, you're trying to take care of yourself and following doctor's orders, taking medication, but you're having these flareups. You're working, you're trying to build a career. You're young. I mean, you're still like trying to build your name and do your thing.
[00:11:49] That is crazy. How did you manage that? And did you, at that point when you. And the early on, did you just medicate it?
[00:11:58] Mel: I medicated and I just masked it. Like I, I honestly didn't know that that I would ever have pain-free life. So I just was like, this is my life and I'm just gonna go forward. That la mentality of if you don't outwork someone, they're gonna outwork you.
[00:12:11] So I just burned my body into the ground, like I was really reckless with it. The thing about having an autoimmune disease is that it's not exterior necessarily. So Nobody knows what's really going on except for those who are like in my immediate circle, my like family or Dave and my stepson at home.
[00:12:30] So anytime I'd have a migraine, you know, it's like popping migraine medication and then just waiting till it kicks in and then continuing on or. You know, taking pain medication. And that was dangerous too. I mean, I was on some of the medication wasn't even helping, so I would take like oxy every once in a while.
[00:12:48] And then that led to mental stuff with depression, and it was a rabbit hole of toxicity.
[00:12:56] Monica: Wow. And Mel, how long did you simmer in that?
[00:13:00] Mel: I would say nine years. It was kind of a while.
[00:13:04] Monica: Yeah. So you really learned to navigate and do this and still be really productive cuz you really built a beautiful career in photography and you were doing very well for yourself and yet at home you were going and just curling up in
[00:13:18] Mel: pain.
[00:13:19] I would say also, just like you said, it's masking it. Right? So I, on those down days, it's like you. You're in pain. So it's oh, well what's gonna make me feel better? I'm like have some drinks, have wine, forget about the pain, and then that next morning just medicate through it and then start your day all over again.
[00:13:37] So it's kind of a crazy cycle and looking back on it now of how I live, I'm like that person, I don't even recognize that person, but I know so many people are in it and are going through it. I know I can't be alone in that. So.
[00:13:52] Monica: And there's also no shame in that because you can, you really do empathize with people who are dealing with chronic pain and just trying to get through and still be have a normal life.
[00:14:03] I mean, you have a, you're raising, helping raise a child, and a, you're a wife, you're a sister, you're a mom, you're all these things. At what point though it, I mean, you were definitely not that person. That's not the person I met. I can't imagine. So I give you a lot of grace and you're very brave.
[00:14:17] At some point you just get sick of being sick, right? I can't do this anymore. I was so,
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[00:14:22] Mel: So tired of being like tired. It's just like exhausting. After a while you're like, I'm just tired of this. And I think also changing your lifestyle is so scary when you have a whole network of people around you that you're like, If I change, will I lose these people?
[00:14:38] And my lifestyle's gonna differ. Can I enjoy the same things or go to the same events and still have a good time? Right? Because you start identifying with just that person, like I was identifying as the pain almost, of okay, this is just the way it is. This is how I am. I just mask everything to everyone else.
[00:14:57] And then I just go home. I have this little secret and it's whatever. So then getting through that is, Seems like a little scary too,
[00:15:03] Monica: but letting go of the version we're so comfortable with, regardless of how painful it is it takes a lot of trust. And to your right, when you land, you're not quite sure who's gonna be there, but the person you become.
[00:15:16] Obviously look at this beautiful human being who is just so incredible and has a beautiful message that you're doing so, so good with it. So are your parents concerned at this point? Are they like or are you just mask they don't even realize what you're doing? I honestly
[00:15:30] Mel: didn't even know what I was doing really.
[00:15:32] You know, like I didn't know that it was bad. I just, because you've. You think about like even marketing, right? Every single time you turn on the tv, it's like marketing a different drug for something to help you cure something. So for me, I'm like taking a non holistic approach. Wasn't even, it didn't even enter my mind necessarily until I was on a hike with a girlfriend of mine who used to be producer, working production on Fuller House and Dave.
[00:15:58] Had introduced us and so we became fast friends. We were on a hike one day and I was just telling her a little bit about, I was like opening up about my experience and she was like, look, I've been really wanting to get into nutrition actually. And taking a holistic approach. She was like, would you be open to being my first client and we'll kind of work together and see if what's there to lose?
[00:16:20] Right. And we started working together. And it wa, I will say it was not like an Amazon Prime order overnight success.
[00:16:28] Monica: Okay, so wait back up, sorry. 22. You get diagnosed, you're livi till you're about 31 or so. Just trying to do the timeline here. And then you have this conversation with your now business partner, which will learn all about her.
[00:16:42] You're what? Like in your early thirties. You're on a hike and you're like, you know what? I have nothing to lose. I'm sick of being sick. I'm tired. I don't wanna feel this way anymore. And she gives you a little glimpse of, well, there's maybe a different way to do this.
[00:16:56] Mel: Exactly. So then I start, we start working together, and it wasn't until three years into it, Where I really started to see this like massive transformation.
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[00:17:08] Mel: I mean, I feel like I had to detox my entire life up until that point, right? And I started small because she was like, listen, we don't want to change everything overnight because it's not gonna be sustainable. You wanna start small. So then it just becomes part of your, everyday, it's a habit, and then you add on something else, right?
[00:17:27] That's gonna help. And I think for me personally, that was the transformative. Moment of being able to stay with it. So
[00:17:36] Monica: leaning in I think that's one of the things that I love most about you and your messaging and everything I hear in, when I look at your Insta or when you are doing your lives, is that, hey, And what you just said, it's not prime, it's not overnight, doesn't happen.
[00:17:52] But if you believe in yourself and your desire to feel better is greater than what you feel this moment, it will happen. But you have to lean in and you have to maybe start with small dosages, which is a really great, so three years you go through this and at this point you're just her client, you're not business partners.
[00:18:07] Yeah. Okay.
[00:18:08] Mel: Correct. Yeah. And then it wasn't until I guess six years after we knew each other where. Dave and I moved from LA to Michigan and. We were just talking on the phone. We moved like right before Covid hit, and so we're talking on the phone during Covid and we were like, I feel like we can really help a lot of people figure out if they can take a bio-individual approach to their health and doing what's right just for them of giving them power, but also celebrating them and cheering them on because it can be such a lonely process.
[00:18:41] When you're just going for it by yourself. That's why I feel like diets are so successful because there's a community of people like, yeah, I'm in, I'm doing that too. Or, you know, this camaraderie that happens. And so we wanted to build a platform and a community that really celebrates you while you're on this journey for yourself to better yourself.
[00:19:04] Such
[00:19:04] Monica: a success story that you guys thought, Hey, we can duplicate this and really help a lot of people. Now, at that point though, you had the transformation within yourself. You had changed your diet completely. You had really eliminated all toxic substances, for lack of a better word, and then also you got your fitness
[00:19:24] Mel: instructor.
[00:19:24] Yeah, no worries. That happened. Then just two years ago, I decided I was having a lot of trouble. After working out, I would have to take two hour naps, and I came to realize I was overc conditioning my body. So also during this process, my older sister became a personal trainer and so she started training with me.
[00:19:46] So with her and I, with our work together, it also made me realize like this is whole picture. This is not just about nutrition. This is also about my, the movement. This is about how I can control my mind during situations like then I really dived into learning more about pain-free management and pain-free movement, which led me to getting my certification in as a fitness instructor and then also as a pain-free movement specialist.
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[00:20:17] Mel: So I then decided to take it a step further after doing a lot of research of how breath work can be so impactful for the body and for healing, and for boosting your immunity. And so I took everything that I learned and then paired it with the way that functional movement helped my body and created a method of functional movement using mindful breathing techniques during the exercise.
[00:20:46] And then I pair it with meditation because I'm a firm believer that the mind can help control the way that your body heals.
[00:20:54] Monica: So many things come to mind, but specifically as a woman, and you are in LA and you are in a different spotlight, let's say, but it doesn't matter. It can be women anywhere. Why do you feel like this sort of pressure of we are gonna deny our knees or our health ish or anything just to keep going.
[00:21:12] I mean, you are an example of that and we'd all do we ignore those whispers. That body, what I say is your body always betrays you because whatever you're doing to it. That's gonna come out for you. It manifested in your health, but yet we keep going. And I love that you got through the other side, but for a long time you stayed in it.
[00:21:31] And why do you think that's. That mindset of women to just put on the lipstick and keep going. I think there's
[00:21:37] Mel: a few different things. I think that going back to the way that like, I guess society paints this picture of women is to just keep 'em down. I also think that. It has a lot to do with the medical field gaslighting women when they do have pain and so they're taught almost to think that this is made up, that they're, oh, you're a hypochondriac if this is what's happening.
[00:21:58] It's no, we as women can be so in tune to our body and being able to feel and actually actively listen to the body. And so when others are denying us our own credibility, I think that it really like messes with the way that we. Think about how we can transform. You're
[00:22:16] Monica: so right. I feel like I I mean, I don't know that there's a whole movement to do that, but it surely feels that way, doesn't it?
[00:22:24] That we get dismissed often. But now, today, first of all, h why Detroit, by the way,
[00:22:30] Mel: so my husband is originally, From the metro Detroit area and his father and brother at the time just needed some extra love and attention. And so we moved here to kind of, provide that.
[00:22:44] Monica: Oh, okay, how are you doing?
[00:22:45] Because now girl, you've been in Montana, you've been la and now you're here. Where are we feeling on the Detroit vibe?
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[00:22:51] Mel: We also moved at an interesting time when everything was like shutting down. So of course it was like challenging during that time, but I also think it was so transformative because it's where I was given the space and the breath to not fight so hard for this.
[00:23:07] Photography career and try and as I was saying before, like outworking all those who you know, are in that same field and being competitive with that to just be like, what is important? What do I wanna do? What do I wanna leave behind or leave the world with, if this is helping me like.
[00:23:23] Why wait, why am I not taking steps towards following this route? And which is also scary at the time when you identify with something for so long, this like label. And that's why I also think that it's. Interesting for women where we're like, you kind of say what you do first instead of who you are.
[00:23:41] And if we all just said hi, I'm Melissa, my passion is to transform live. We're like, if we're setting up that, rather than I'm a photographer, I'm a fitness instructor, I'm a this, I'm a that. I'm, you know, changing the way we talk about ourselves.
[00:23:55] Monica: Oh my gosh. That's the takeaway for me today.
[00:23:57] I absolutely agree with you and I love the way you said it. So well, let's talk about what you're doing and your mission and what's happening with you now, and give us the
[00:24:05] Mel: scoop. Like I said, the main thing with this method that I am teaching and hoping to introduce to a lot of different people is really to help.
[00:24:15] Individuals that over condition, maybe those tougher workouts are what drive you and are great for your body and fuel your soul. But you just need a day where it's okay, I'm gonna slow down, tune in, use that breath, be mindful about this movement. The other side is, The goal for me is helping individuals realize that like they can help manage their pain by mindfully moving and doing it for you.
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[00:24:40] Mel: So I think the main thing is staying in your own lane and being able to celebrate others. While you're staying in your own lane, which is always difficult cause we tend to love to compare ourselves to others and what they're doing. But I think one of the biggest reminders is if the same food was in front of you, you were doing the same movement, you were given the same information, you had the same blueprint and like we would still be all processing every one of those things differently and none of us would have the same result.
[00:25:10] We're so, Individually different, and I love
[00:25:13] Monica: that you do that. So how specifically, do you discover people's blueprint? Or are you really saying, I don't actually have to discover your blueprint? I think if you just start listening to your body and how it responds, is that what we're saying here?
[00:25:27] Mel: It's definitely about learning to be an active listener for your body.
[00:25:32] I got
[00:25:32] Monica: a glimpse of your workout this past weekend, and I see that and for you, a lot of it is always reminding your audience or your the student's breath. Breath, breathe into it. And I love that because for me, by the way, I don't know my brain. I always have a hard time connecting. When do I breathe in now?
[00:25:49] When do I exhale? It takes a minute, right? To learn the flow of it. Is it just body weight your system, or do you actually use free weights?
[00:25:56] Mel: So a lot of what I do currently is. Body weight and I encourage, like to do multiple things. So if you are doing strength training, that can be like two days a week or something.
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[00:26:08] Mel: But right now I do body weight because. The biggest thing for me is when I was sick, is giving somebody tools that don't cost you anything. I don't want someone to feel like, oh, I can't do this without, cause I don't have the bands, I don't have the weights. I don't have X, Y, Z, and it's gonna cost me money.
[00:26:27] When you're doing multiple hospital visits and trying to get your health in check and that money is flying out the door already, I just wanna create something that is. Accessible to everyone.
[00:26:40] Monica: That's, I think, part of the problem. And with a lot of these things, people feel like, oh, what?
[00:26:45] What is she selling me now? But really you are giving everyone, empowering everyone. Hey, excuses be gone. You've got it all in you. The power lies in us and you. You are not just saying it, you're like showing us how to do it, which is really very cool. What should come first? The movement or breath? I believe
[00:27:03] Mel: in.
[00:27:04] And the power of breath only, cuz that's how I start my morning. And I think it also depends on who you are as a person. I tend to be anxious and a little bit of a warrior who loves to write my own stories about the day before the day happens. So for me it's a matter of waking up and then I do Six to eight deep breaths, then I start to move my body a little bit and stretch and get going.
[00:27:27] And for me, my like workout doesn't happen until two hours after I wake up because that's when my body is ready to actually have full movement. So for me, it always starts with breath. When I. Teach a class, it's a warmup. So you're always doing the breath with that warmup and then going into the exercise.
[00:27:46] And then we end, like I said, in meditation, really focusing on breath and mindfulness. So
[00:27:51] Monica: always my favorite part of any workout, by the way, is that meditation. I love that you're saying that you just anchor yourself every day with breath work. And we'll talk about morning routine here soon, I know what you do really well.
[00:28:02] And then your partner, Mel, is obviously nutritionist, right?
[00:28:06] Mel: Yes. So I'm a co-founder and owner of a wellness company called Living Well with me and Mel. And Melanie is the nutritionist who helped me transform my life to what it is today. And so she Takes a holistic approach into seeing how your personal body, I guess, reacts to different foods, the way that you're eating, how you're eating.
[00:28:34] She really takes a large approach to it, rather than just eat this and eat this, right? It's no, let's learn how to read ingredients, ignoring those front labels of sugar free and gluten free and all the freeze, right? It's well, what's in it? So she really teaches you how to become an expert in.
[00:28:52] The ingredient portion of like how what you're eating and then how to eat. So she was actually the first one who introduced me to how breath work could transform my body. And that was through every time I sat down to eat, she would have me do a breath exercise of taking four to eight deep breaths.
[00:29:11] So that I became in a parasympathetic state before I ate, and that helped my digestion. That helped just the way that I processed the food, but it also helped the way that I thought about food because I was able to like actually sit down and part of my process was just. Finding what I was grateful for.
[00:29:31] Right, and just thinking and like thanking the farmers for the meal and like thinking about where it came from, how long somebody took to harvest this meal or like what that farmer did and how long did they have the cattle on the land and what they were feeding them before you even intake that right or so fast to consume that.
[00:29:50] A lot of times we forget what the process is
[00:29:53] Monica: I probably can't do too much of that because then I will probably get very depressed and think, oh, those poor migraine workers, they weren't paid enough.
[00:30:00] And why and how, and I don't deserve this. I'm not eating this. Now let's tweak it real reading nutritional labels. That's don't joke. I mean, obviously I turn things around and I don't, I can't even pronounce it. So that should be clue number one. If you can't pronounce it, you probably don't want it in your body, but how do we really realistically do this?
[00:30:21] And what is your tip for someone who's okay, I just need you to lean in, and what's a good tip for this?
[00:30:28] Mel: I mean, I'm not an expert in nutrition, but I can say what's works for me is shopping perimeter at any grocery store or shopping, which just means shopping that outside. Right. You're shopping what's refrigerated, you're shopping what's fresh.
[00:30:41] You're not shopping in the center aisles where all the preservatives are listed. Okay, brilliant.
[00:30:46] Farmer's markets is a big one, so. Knowing and supporting your local farmers you just have a closer connection to that food too. You know, how it's being like I said, raised or grown.
[00:30:58] You know, like you said, when in doubt if you're reading ingredients and it does not, you can't pronounce something, just probably not the best thing. To grab and a really simple, and it's like thinking about ingredients as simple as if it's peanut butter, technically it should just be peanuts, maybe salt.
[00:31:17] And so if there's anything extra that's, you know, obviously definitely could cause inflammation.
[00:31:22] Monica: And what are some of the real. High inflammatory foods, I guess in your opinion what do you think is like a, in your definitely no list? Yeah, so
[00:31:31] Mel: mine are I stay away from any oils outside of olive oil, avocado oil, and coconut oil, and there's so many different.
[00:31:39] Corn oils and corn starch and all these different things, right? So
[00:31:43] Monica: no elephant ears for you at the fair. Oh my
[00:31:45] Mel: god, I used to eat those as a kid all the time. They're the best. But I'm like, I also like to think of, Dave and I were just talking about this like you have different phases in life for a reason, right?
[00:31:55] I had the indulgent phase and I'm like so happy I had that. I personally am react highly to gluten, so I avoid gluten personally. Any sort of sugar cane, sugar specifically, I avoid. Sugar is my number one trigger for migraines, and it also is like immediately my joints are like on fire, so I do coconut sugar, I just adjust.
[00:32:22] Right? I still live. Like an 80 20 lifestyle in the sense of 80% of the time my, the way that I live is for my optimal health, and then 20% of that time, if I have a piece of birthday cake or something like that, usually it's still gluten-free. But if I have some sugar or something, I know how I can combat it.
[00:32:42] Fight it because it's not part of my every day. So there's also things where I'm not saying it's an all or nothing solution. I think that's not sustainable, but, and then alcohol is a real trigger for my bro, my body personally as well. Yeah,
[00:32:56] Monica: I mean, whew. Alcohol, sugar. Salt, like all these things.
[00:33:01] And I've been trying to lean into a healthier lifestyle for years too. I don't eat poultry or red meat and I'm a pescatarian, but I do have a sweet tooth. And I have noticed though, lately, over the last year or so, it's not really serving me like my body. I just get. Sluggish. You know, and I say, your body never lies to you.
[00:33:22] You know exactly what's going on. But I've gotta tell you, acknowledge to you and your partner, Mel. Mel, a few things have changed. I have since l learning about you, getting to know you, following you a few things that I've already changed in my day-to-day. By the way, slowing down. Because I'm one of those people, I'm one of six kids, girl food gets in front of me and I'm like, literally, you may as well put in a cup cuz I'm swallowing that cuz my otherwise my brothers were gonna get to my plates.
[00:33:49] So we ate so fast growing up and I realized that I'm like, I did not even enjoy that. I just like literally did not even taste anything. So I'm slowing down. I'm saying what I'm grateful for before I eat and I started drinking a glass of water before I do coffee or anything in the morning. So I am like really taking all your little tips.
[00:34:12] I'm really taking them on. So you mentioned your functional movement. You really wanted to remove any barriers for women or men. You're not specifying to women, but what about for food? Because, let's be honest, this socioeconomic it's real, right? It's cheaper to buy processed food. There's a lot of people, families that can't afford necessarily organic and you know, it's not cool because the good food is the expensive stuff, the healthier stuff.
[00:34:39] So how can people work around that? That's a
[00:34:42] Mel: great question. I mean, I do think that's like a global crisis. It's definitely bigger than what I have the knowledge to. Speak with great clarity on, however I always say that you're gonna pay for it one way or another. So the fact that you are consuming certain food, your body and the medical bills and the price you pay later on can have great.
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[00:35:10] Mel: Effects on you. And I also think it's a matter of setting priorities. We all have priorities about our finances and are we honestly really prioritizing our health and food? Or are we prioritizing that trip to Disneyland? And I know that, I don't mean that to be triggering in any way for anybody, but kind of restructuring the way that we think about it.
[00:35:30] And also, if we start as a society, Only consuming certain things. We're part of the problem, right? We're consuming, therefore they're supplying, so they're not gonna supply if the consumption and the need's not there to create this type of food.
[00:35:46] Monica: Excellent answer my friend. Yes, absolutely. So you are an authority of, this is sort of saying, I love the way you put it Well do the math.
[00:35:54] Do you wanna spend a l a few extra bucks at the grocery store or do you wanna end up in the hospital? And I mean, not to be that extreme, but that's what's happening, right? With heart disease and obesity or diabetes.
[00:36:05] You, Mel Miller, huge advocates of morning routines, and you talk a lot about this, and you write about this and you blog about this. So give me a glimpse into this. Yeah, so
[00:36:15] Mel: a morning routine for us is, The way that you set up your day is how either that's how productive you're gonna be or that's going to derail your day, right?
[00:36:27] So, and a morning routine should be individualized. Again, this is all we big advocate on Bioindividuality and doing what's right for you. And I think a lot of times we, we read about you know, the morning routine of Jeff Bezos and Oprah and all these things and we're like, well, let's apply that cuz then my life would be like that given the same blueprint, the same things like.
[00:36:46] No one's every outcome's different. So figuring out what works for you. So what we like to really preach is what's your goal in that day and then working backwards, right? So we have a morning routine masterclass where we dive in so deep into the benefits and all the science backed studies on how powerful morning routine can actually transform your I mean, I'm a big believer cuz it transformed my life.
[00:37:12] So I'm gonna say life, but. It can transform your day, your week, your month. For me, it's kind of seasonal now that I live here. I mean, it's, so for me, my morning routine is because, My pain management is my number one thing that I wanna make sure that I have under control for my day and productivity. So, so that I don't forget anything.
[00:37:34] And so that I stay ahead of the day instead of oh, step behind. I make sure to try and get my morning routine as much as possible. So for me, that is I do my breath. The minute my alarm goes off, I hit the snooze, and then I just start doing the breath. Whether I'm like walking or whatever. To get to the next room, and I leave my phone in a different room.
[00:37:55] So I turn it off and then I start my morning routine without the device. So I do the breath work and then I do stretches. I have a glass of water, I make coffee, and then I ice roller my face while I'm feeding my dogs. And then I usually have coffee over do journaling, like a brain dump of everything that's in my head for that day.
[00:38:16] Or if my husband's awake, that's when we connect and we have coffee together and we sit for probably half an hour to 45 minutes together. And just talk about what's our day set up. It can kind of look different depending on when Dave wakes up. But I like to wake up at least two hours before I have any responsibility on my calendar that day, because otherwise I'm, I tend to always just feel a step behind.
[00:38:40] I notice that when I. Don't do that. It's, I'm constantly feeling like I'm just catching up and I'm rushing and it's it's that constant out of breath feeling, right? Of oh, there's something else and there's something
[00:38:52] Monica: else. I know I'm the same way. I would rather actually wake up at six. And by the way, I don't even need an alarm.
[00:38:57] Like I'm, my internal clock is already on. I would rather wake up early and just have my time, my morning routine, cuz that to me is so precious. And I know if I don't get my meditation in, or my breath work, or my coffee in whatever order I take it, or my journaling, which is a huge part of my system, I'm just off for the day.
[00:39:17] I'm just not aligned for the day and I feel it. And then I'm just working on resistance all day. And when you're doing that, I mean, that's just the opposite of flow and I'd rather be in flow. It's just life is easier that way.
[00:39:29] Mel: It's so true. It's
[00:39:30] Monica: so true. I agree. Oh, you also, in your blog you wrote, name your alarm with a mantra, which I love, hydrate.
[00:39:37] First, move your body, source fresh air, eat nourishing breakfast, release it, and acknowledge your thoughts. Practice the act of being still not in any this necessarily disorder, but these are some of your tips. Can we talk about eating breakfast now? For women. I know. Listen, women are listening here eating breakfast.
[00:39:56] We are all meal skippers. How do you tell me the difference
[00:40:00] Mel: here? I was a huge meal skipper, big time before my work with Mel and I would say I probably eat more than my husband now and I feel more in aligned with my body and it's been at the same weight for six years now without fluctuating with my work from her.
[00:40:18] I'll say that. I did not believe in eating breakfast in be at the beginning of this. I was very resisting. Cuz I'm just like a coffee want coffee? I don't want breakfast. And I feel like if you really wanna dive into this, she'd be such a good person to have on the podcast because she can get really into it scientifically and give you like all the juicy good stuff.
[00:40:38] But For me, she taught me that for females specifically and with our hormones and everything, in order to balance our blood sugar, we need a nutrient dense breakfast because it's providing sustainability for your day energy. It's. Balancing everything in the body and it's just setting you up for success to make healthier choices throughout your day.
[00:41:03] So you're less likely to dive into these like hunger hangry moments of what am I gonna have for lunch? Fine, I'll just go through the drive-through cause I'm so starving and this is what I have available to me. Instead, you're gonna be like, oh. Well, I think I have this in the fridge and maybe I'll just take some leftovers and then throw some veggies in the oven and just do something together, whatever.
[00:41:21] You know, you just tend to go the route of staying on track with your food when you start
[00:41:27] Monica: it the right way. Yeah, that's good that I, that's a mind shift for me too, because I have been guilty of skipping my breakfast for a long time, so that. I'm still working. I'm not there yet, but I'm listening to you and I'm hearing you and I'm leaning into the idea of you know
[00:41:43] Mel: what?
[00:41:44] I'm gonna try it. How I started. Cuz in the beginning with Melanie's work together, I was like, girl, I'm not a breakfast person. I'm not gonna eat breakfast and I'm not gonna quit alcohol and I'm not gonna do it. I give her like a list of things. She was like, okay, we'll see. And so she actually started off with, She was like in your coffee then to get a healthy fat, to get your brain active and working.
[00:42:05] You know, like she was like, I just want you to try this, of putting a scoop of coconut oil in my coffee. So I started doing that. So when that started like working and I was like having more energy and the way that she described how everything would start happening, I'm like, Okay, that worked. So I'll trust you on this next one.
[00:42:22] And then when I started adding in breakfast, it was honestly game changer. It really did help provide so much energies where I mean, my fatigue was so intense and it would hit at such crazy hours. And I notice now if I skip a meal, if I skip breakfast, I'm always having that like intense fatigue crash.
[00:42:41] Monica: Okay. That's great. I'm gonna, I'm writing those tips down. Coconut oil, and I love those oats. We just talk about 'em. Just eat 'em. I've been like eating them at 11. Mel, as you know, at the Kindling project, we're all about that little tiny fire inside of us that needs fuel and fanning. And for you, you found that fire through nutrition and movement and really starting to care about how you feel.
[00:43:03] And that moment was your turnaround time. That's when you decided I don't need to be this version of myself. And you just leaned into this whole new, beautiful life. And you've started a business I mean, since a photographer, I imagine you were an independent contractor, so you've always ran your own business.
[00:43:18] And you've pivoted, which is why I really like your story, is that you started one way and you're still, I imagine, very talented and passionate about photography, but you're leaning into this. What do you tell women who find themselves in the same situation, who are so comfortable with what they already know, even though something inside of them is pulling them?
[00:43:39] A different direction. It
[00:43:40] Mel: took me, you know, a couple years and even now on my Instagram, I'm like, and how do I transition? It's like these like small things, right? When you've identified as something for so long, it can be really scary to show up. In a new way that you're passionate about. But I think that also
[00:43:56] everyone's gonna jump on board. And so the biggest reminder for me and advice is nobody is keeping your score as much as you are. Right? I love to use this like golf analogy where no one cares what you shoot except for you. Like everyone else is worried about their own score and their own path.
[00:44:14] The fact to showing up for yourself, that's key of just doing you staying in your lane like, and again, if you can at any moment, you know, just. Well, here's one that I think is interesting of, and maybe this is more of a tip and advice, but what I had to do was unfollow everyone else that is doing something similar to what you're doing, because you can start to get into this comparison situation where you're like, oh, well, they posted that.
[00:44:45] Like maybe I should do like a variety or like a thing about that. Because what it does is it help it like it dims your own perspective and your own voice on something. This photographer taught me this a long time ago, and I just love that like any, anytime that you're passionate about something and your message is clear for you and you need to get that across.
[00:45:04] Just zone in on it because the minute you start adding in, all of these other individuals are doing it and maybe a slightly different variation or certain things, but you can always do research, but you don't need to have it in your everyday viewpoint, right, of this coming up constantly, because then that's just keeping us down and dimming our own passion and light towards actually proceeding with action
[00:45:26] Monica: instead of thought.
[00:45:28] Oh, that's really good. That's such good advice. And I mean, I'm in the podcast world in along with other things and it's definitely one where you, I could easily be like, oh, well I don't have enough subscribers. Or Luca, so like some big names out there doing it. Incredible job. Obviously there's celebrities and so forth.
[00:45:46] But truthfully we still feel Mel and I and Amy feel like, Hey, you know what? We have to be proud of the work we do. We know we are passionate about telling women's stories. And to the point, Mel, where we have also kept our earliest podcasts, even though they were not the greatest, but just to remind us that, you know, we were brave enough to start anyway.
[00:46:06] And just to go for it. So, but I love what you said because it's easy to do, isn't it? To compare,
[00:46:12] Mel: and no one's an expert when you start. That's just part of the process, right? So I love that you keep all of the beginnings and you know, I keep early emails of rejections and everything of certain like jobs or like failures also in life, right?
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[00:46:26] Mel: I think failing is. So important. I just there's nothing better than like a good failure story cuz you're like, I did it. I tried and this is what I learned. Yeah. And
[00:46:35] Monica: then to see how far you've come, I rarely look backwards, but when I do, it's just to see okay, I'm good with my yesterday's. Led me to today. So what is for you as a female entrepreneur, what are some of your biggest challenges? One of my biggest
[00:46:50] Mel: challenges, honestly and I don't know if you can relate to this or maybe anyone in the audience, but feeling worthy of success.
[00:46:58] And I mean that in the way of like, When you're sharing what your goals and your dreams are, and you're seeing this momentum, I've in the past had these situations where I like, I seriously have jumped backwards and been like, I don't know if success is right for me. Like I see so many people working so hard, and if I take this or I step into it and I own it, are people gonna look at me like, what, she has this opportunity, she's doing that.
[00:47:26] Like she doesn't deserve that. I just get this, like I used to get a loop in my head about it of, and it's taken me a while now to just be like, I'm here for the message. I'm here for, you know, impacting other people's lives.
[00:47:39] Monica: That reminder that you have set on your phone every day, so no matter what trips you up that day, you know what your mission is for the day.
[00:47:47] And if you can help one person, just one. I mean, girl. You're doing things. That's amazing. Let's just run down for everyone. All the things that you do. You are a personal trainer. You have your business with Mel and Mel, and you're now doing pop-ups, by the way, your wife mom, sister, you know, you got a lot going on.
[00:48:06] Generally speaking. Give me some productivity hacks that you
[00:48:09] Mel: have. For me, it's morning routine. The next is my night routine is just as important as my morning routine. Like I write everything down like I have to have. A visualization of everything that I'm doing, everything that I have on my plate.
[00:48:26] So I have this big whiteboard and I have each company kind of drawn out and mapped out. And then underneath it, it has it's like a family tree of here's the goals, here's the next thing. And then it's like multiple actions. Cuz how I start everything is it's with great purpose. So I always have this like end goal in mind.
[00:48:46] And then what I do is take that end goal and then I. Spider out different legs of, okay, what do I need to do in order to get there? And then I spider it out even more of what are these action steps? And to the point of it gets so low that it's a matter of just write an email and send one email today, and then the next step and.
[00:49:06] So that everything is going to be leading back. So I kind of always take the end goal and then work my way down and then back,
[00:49:15] Monica: you know, everything is with the end in mind. What is it even like this podcast? What is it that I want? What's the message that I want the audience to hear, that I want them to move that I want them to be inspired by Mel to move and nourish.
[00:49:27] And feel better about themselves. So yeah, I think that's really a solid advice. Here's my thing for you. Why don't you challenge our audience with one thing they can do today to lean into let's focus on movement because that's your true area of expertise.
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[00:49:46] Monica: I
[00:49:46] Mel: challenge you to move your body in a way today that leaves you smiling.
[00:49:52] So doing something that fuels you and makes you happy is what's gonna be sustainable. So whether that's walking your dogs and really taking the moment of being in the present moment of that walk you know, going to rock climbing gym, or it's going to a trampoline park with your kids I don't know, whatever that is.
[00:50:12] It's some sort of movement that like, Fuels you and makes you happy. Or the challenge of parking the furthest spot away at the grocery store and walking in just getting that body fueled, right. The real transformative messaging for me with movement is what it can do for your mind and provide longevity for your life and healing from the inside.
[00:50:36] You know, creating that moment of healing internally so that can spark joy for longevity rather than this exterior physique of in the now in the moment, short-term thinking. And not that those are bad goals at all, it's just a different approach to moving, and so I just encourage you to move. That's fueled for you.
[00:51:00] That sparks some sort of joy.
[00:51:01] Monica: Yeah, I like that with a smile. Whatever makes you smile that it makes a difference. Tell everyone how they can work with you and where they can find you.
[00:51:09] Mel: So I am online at moving well with mel.com. That is where you'll find all of my movement practices pop-up events will also be listed there.
[00:51:22] And then I. Teach at a local studio in Gross Point called The Corner Studio. So I teach there on Mondays and Fridays so you can. Come to a class and join me live if you would like. And then Mel and I's Work is on Living Well with Mel and mel.com. We provide, if you wanna sign up for our newsletter, we provide amazing newsletters full of like tips and different things on what you can do to better your health and taking that individual approach to do so.
[00:51:52] And then on social media, I am at Melissa Coulier on Instagram and on Facebook,
[00:51:58] Monica: . Okay, well I will definitely include all these in the show notes for everyone and so we'll definitely lead everyone back to you. So, Mel, looking back at that, go back to that young girl in Montana pre-marriage, pre being tripped up in that restaurant what would you say to her knowing what you know now?
[00:52:15] Mel: Don't take it so personally. As far as. Failures. Learn from your failures, collect your wins, and do
[00:52:23] Monica: you, that's awesome. Collect your wins. I like that. And we have so many, right, that we often dismiss, so that's great. Okay, and then final question is we always wrap up the show with a shout out to someone in your life or something that happened this week that you just wanna celebrate or recognize or acknowledge.
[00:52:40] Go for it. Okay.
[00:52:41] Mel: I'm shouting you out. Thank you, Mick, for not only like attending the event, but like wanting to. You know, thinking that my story is important enough to share with your platform and your community, and I just am so grateful for meeting you and having that universe align us in the way that it did.
[00:53:03] So, I appreciate you. Ah,
[00:53:05] Monica: well thank you. The feeling is mutual and I acknowledge you for sure. And you might be that person that gets me to eat breakfast, by the way. So I'm afraid that if I interview your partner Mel, I will be eating like three square meals a day, which really is scary, really scary concept.
[00:53:19] But I wanna chat out this week to. My sisters it seems like they are on loop a lot, but you know, sometimes life just isn't as you planned, and I think I've made mention this to you with my kids sometimes it's yeah, fuck yeah, those are my kids. Cuz you get so excited and some weeks are like, fuck, those are my kids.
[00:53:39] I've gotta, yes, I've gotta claim them. They're mine. This week I felt like it was one of those I've gotta claim them. They're mine. But I wouldn't be able to do go through life and these ups and downs with my amazing sisters and friends and new friends who say, you know what, we gotcha. We're here for you.
[00:53:55] So I love the power of sisterhood and that's what we're trying to do here at the Kindling Project. It's just cultivating sisterhood. So thank you very much. Thanks for your time. Appreciate you so much. And remember fire starters, it only takes one spark to ignite the fire within. Talk to you later.