Building Community Through Creativity and Inclusivity with Amanda Sweet

In this engaging conversation, Amanda Sweet, the creative fairy godmother, shares her community-building journey through her platform WeVamp, a clothing swap and creative experience. Amanda Sweet, affectionately known as the Creative Fairy Godmother, is an immersive and experiential global speaker, community leader, event curator, and fashion junkie. 

Amanda Sweet’s goal is to help people make friends, get fly, and save the world through sustainable community events.

As the Founder of “The ReVamp”, Sweet is on a mission to teach people how local impact creates global impact, she's able to teach and practice sustainable fashion that impacts her peers and Homeless and Domestic Violence shelters in Detroit. 

The discussion delves into the spiritual aspects of creativity, early memories that shaped Amanda's artistic expression, and the importance of body positivity and self-love. They explore the significance of inclusivity and diversity in community spaces, the need for safe environments for marginalized groups, and the nurturing leadership style that fosters growth and empowerment. The conversation culminates in a reflection on breaking barriers and redefining spaces to create a more inclusive world. In this conversation, Amanda Sweet and The Kindling Project explore themes of self-discovery, forgiveness, and authenticity in personal and professional spaces. They discuss the importance of community support, the power of individuality in self-expression, and the need for collaboration in creating impactful change. Amanda shares her journey of overcoming past trauma and embracing her true self, while also emphasizing the significance of dressing authentically and the role it plays in self-identity. The conversation highlights the importance of nurturing diverse voices and building supportive communities.

Takeaways

• Creativity is deeply connected to spirituality and self-identity.

• Body positivity is a radical act of self-love and rebellion.

• Inclusivity and diversity must be intentional in community spaces.

• Small actions can have a big impact on perceptions of body size.

• Creating safe spaces is essential for marginalized communities.

• Nurturing leadership involves letting others shine and grow.

• Breaking barriers requires redefining traditional spaces and norms.

• Empowerment comes from asking how to help others achieve their dreams. Self-discovery is a journey that often involves facing past traumas.

Find Amanda here:

Website: https://therevamp.org/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/re.vamp.detroit/

Personal IG: https://www.instagram.com/amandasweetlive/

Let's Glow Show: https://www.youtube.com/@AmandaSweetLive

Listen to the full episode:

• Transcript

  Melissa Halpin (00:02.22) Welcome back to the Kindling Project podcast. This morning, I had the honor and privilege of being on Amanda Sweet's podcast. And now we are following up with part two of our conversation on the Killing Project podcast. So Amanda Sweet, you don't know her, is the amazing, like fashion fairy godmother. She has this incredible platform in Metro Detroit called WeVamp. which is a clothing swap and a music experience and art experience and community experience and she just has a gift for magic and community building. Welcome to the Killing Project Podcast! Amanda Sweet (00:45.016) Yay! Thanks for having me. was saying, long time no see. Melissa Halpin (00:48.416) Yeah, yeah, it's been all of about 15 minutes, enough time to get a fresh cup of coffee and yeah, continue our conversation. And I feel like you and I are just really just soul sisters. We could probably do a hundred hours of chit chatting podcast or not. But for people that don't know, tell us a little bit more about yourself and about the work that you do and the art that you make. Amanda Sweet (00:52.704) I know. Cheers. Amanda Sweet (01:15.734) Yeah, so like Melissa said, I'm Amanda Sweet and I am the creative fairy godmother. We talked a little bit about it on the last show, but I love to help people get fly, make friends, and save the world through community. And I do that in a lot of different ways. We do the revamp clothing swap festival every single quarter and... It's just been growing in a really beautiful and organic way. We've donated over 26,000 pounds of clothing back to nonprofits and we got to figure out our numbers or how much we've actually saved from the landfill because we literally just started recording like last year. So, you know, we've been doing it for quite some time. So I always like to round up a little bit because I think we got a couple more pounds in there. But I also do a weekly podcast on YouTube called The Let's Glow Show. Melissa Halpin (02:02.743) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (02:07.856) I am honored to say I'm the community director at bamboo and Royal Oak a co-working space in the metro Detroit area I'm a wife. I'm a I'm a Experimenter of life. I like to just try new things if my intuition and my spirit is like you should try DJing I'll be like, let's just try it and like anything that I can get my hands on. If I feel like I should try it, I'll just do it. So I am like, I'm leaning into that. I'm quite literally a fairy and I just flow from place to place and do what feels good and make the world better as I go. Melissa Halpin (02:45.824) You absolutely are making the world better. You really do. You shine a bright light wherever you go. the first half of our conversation that you can find on Let's Glow Show, I feel like we just let it flow out of us. And where it really left off was, for me, just about almost the spiritual aspect of creativity, connecting to God, connecting to yourself. connecting to the creative energy in the universe, however you like to frame that. And for this conversation, I thought, let's step back to when you first felt that. What are your earliest memories, that sort of tingling of like, this is where I'm supposed to be, this is what I'm supposed to be doing? Because I think through the Killing Project lens, that is what we get out of touch with. That's where that little fire gets dimmed is, Amanda Sweet (03:25.358) See you. Melissa Halpin (03:42.54) You forget those early sparks that were, you know, your guide, your information. Amanda Sweet (03:51.744) It's interesting that you say that, like a flood of stories come to my mind. I don't think I've ever actually been asked this question. A lot of memories come to mind. So I remember, you know, like my dad plays guitar, my mom loves music, and there's four kids in my family. And I remember like when we, my mom is from the Philippines and she makes up a lot of her own words and phrases. she, and I'll be honest, I don't know if this is my mom-ism or like Tagalog word but she's like you guys are kutikutik like too much and so like we would have dance parties before bed so they would turn the black like the black light on and like jam music and we would just like run around And I remember that feeling of communal dancing and expression. My mom's always been very artistic. My mom draws and paints and is very into interior design and she loves hosting parties. My dad plays the guitar, sings. His dad was a very prominent musical leader in the shuls that I grew up in. And so now I'm thinking, oh, these are all pieces, bits and pieces, but I remember for getting a knockoff, my size Barbie from the dollar store, know, like the four foot ones. And I always remember like, Melissa Halpin (05:12.546) Wow. Amanda Sweet (05:16.908) Like I had a safety pin and a scarf and I could sit there for hours and just like make different outfits. Like I make an outfit, okay, and then take it off and then make another outfit and then take it off. I love playing with Barbies. Like I love dressing them up and just like there's naked Barbies everywhere, clothes, naked Barbies everywhere. I remember my parents got me this Barbie game that came with a digital camera. This was like, this is like the new age. This was like nineties digital camera. I don't know if any of you have had this, but it was like silver with Melissa Halpin (05:22.21) Right. Amanda Sweet (05:46.784) like a green leaf on the front and you could like take pictures and also you could make printable like paper outfits for your Barbies like on the computer game and so I remember like printing them off like if you got the fancy printer paper it'd be like a little fabric-y material on it and you could color it in because my dad never let us print in color so you could like color it in so like I remember things like that as I got older like singing and theater and like Melissa Halpin (05:58.098) fine. Amanda Sweet (06:16.688) like cheerleading and like musical theater and things like that. Lots of art classes. I started my college career in automotive design. Quickly found out that I didn't want to be surrounded by men all the time. Melissa Halpin (06:34.52) I can't imagine you in automotive design. Amanda Sweet (06:38.434) Well, I was definitely pressured into that direction because I would make a lot of money because I would be one of very few women who was also a minority. So I was like double minority. But at the same time, I feel like I've always had this calling to like just try stuff and do stuff. Melissa Halpin (06:43.947) Right. Melissa Halpin (06:55.126) Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't imagine you in automotive design. I can imagine the car you would make, and that would be super fly. Amanda Sweet (07:03.694) my god, right. Like, like Dr. Susie, Disney, like, girl vomit everywhere, like. Melissa Halpin (07:09.301) Yeah. I can imagine how fun, how creative, how comfortable. Amanda Sweet (07:20.664) the good gooey gooey stories that come to mind. There's a lot of other ones. I like, you'll never be this. You'll never be that. You know, I remember taking an acting class and being a plus size body person. I started taking acting classes after I left my like really my last really abusive relationship. And we talked a little bit last time, like, what do you do in your natural instinctual pattern? And I sign up for classes when I feel lost and Melissa Halpin (07:25.751) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (07:46.785) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (07:47.982) I signed up for an acting class and all my acting coaches were like, you'll never get lead parts. So you should always go for the best friend. You should always go for the side character and you'll get a lot of work. I remember being so offended by that. I was like, well, maybe I don't need to be acting anymore. Maybe I need to be MC-ing Maybe I need to be speaking, keynoting, hosting my own show, being an international beauty pageant queen. Melissa Halpin (08:10.2) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (08:14.74) You just do not have supporting character energy, my friend. I don't know what that crazy person was talking about. Amanda Sweet (08:19.33) Well, I have the body of a supporting character in mainstream Hollywood. So, you know, I realized really quickly that like media, traditional media is like... Melissa Halpin (08:25.858) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (08:35.182) Really, that's the name of the game. You audition for the roles that fit your physique, and if you try to break the mold, you're gonna just get rejected over and over over again. So I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna make my own. like, screw that. I don't wanna do that. So, yeah. Melissa Halpin (08:52.492) Yeah. Yeah. It just brings up like all of that icky, awful, gurgling, all those messages. You your experience is my experience, it's every woman's experience. The things we're told about our container and then the amount of space we spend on it. Yeah, I think about that a lot of... Amanda Sweet (09:19.308) Yeah, you know. Melissa Halpin (09:24.798) I just had all the time and the energy and the heartache and the money and the stuff that went into trying to change the container. The diets, the clothes, the exercise classes, the heartbreak, the tears, the canceling because you didn't have anything to wear. mean, it's just, even if you could just bottle and get that energy back. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (09:28.92) Yep. Amanda Sweet (09:52.982) It's a weird programming that our mothers were programmed into, our grandmothers were programmed into. So we're literally like fixing a generational mindset about our bodies and our inadequacies. we're in a world right now where we are very much marginalized based on who we are, where we're from, how much money we have, what we look like. And I think it's a radical, Melissa Halpin (09:55.704) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (10:22.998) It's a radical thing to love yourself and then love yourself enough to try things that make you feel good in public. You know, and I say this a lot, like me dressing well and like having fun with my style is an act of... Melissa Halpin (10:30.594) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (10:41.036) Like it's an act of rebellion. It's also a beacon because I'm showing that like, don't care what you think my size 18, 20, 22 bodies supposed to look like. And I'm going to do it on TV and I'm going to do it really loudly and I'm going to look good doing it. You know? And I feel like it's, it's. Melissa Halpin (10:48.184) Right. Melissa Halpin (10:52.492) Right. Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (11:02.158) It's internal and it's for me because I've never seen anybody that looks like me out here doing what I'm doing. But also it's for everybody else too. It's like, oh, she can do it. That fat girl thinks she can do it? Like, yeah. Melissa Halpin (11:11.68) It's super inspiring and super empowering. I I recently, through my design agency, asked you to model for a client that I have that has a fashion brand, Linda at Skinny Tees. And it's a body positive, body inclusive line of product. in that project, we've also been, even with all of those Amanda Sweet (11:20.674) Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (11:27.022) Well Linda. Melissa Halpin (11:41.73) premises, there's still barriers to fight, right? I mean, even changing the language, the language about plus size clothing. you know, I'm seeing more and more is that clothing just comes in sizes, right? You know, zero to 24 or to infinity. Like, bodies need clothing and we need to have some vocabulary for measuring it, but why do we have to have the plus size section? in the standards section, in the petite section. Amanda Sweet (12:09.398) It's, it, you know. And part of it is like organizational, but the other part of it is like mind. It's it's mental, because like as a plus size person, generally speaking, all if you go to it all inclusive, whatever the pluses are in the back. It's organizational, you know, obviously like small to largest, right? So it's in the back of the row. It's in the back of the rack. It's in the back of the store. And one of the things that I love to do at the clothing swap festivals is always put the plus size stuff in the front. Melissa Halpin (12:15.661) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (12:30.328) Mm-hmm. Right. Melissa Halpin (12:36.609) Right. Amanda Sweet (12:42.602) and every single swap, it doesn't fail. They're always like, is this the back? And I'm like, no, this is the front. And it's so small. It's like really small. It's a small action of organization from back to front or largest to smallest. Melissa Halpin (12:49.516) Right? Melissa Halpin (12:53.24) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (12:58.176) Right. But it's very telling. Like, back is not necessarily a positive descriptor. Back, behind, at the end, off to the side, it's separate. It's of less value. It's not the main story. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (13:05.154) Great. Amanda Sweet (13:12.834) right. And so it's a mind, it's a small way that I'm like trying to change the narrative, but those little small things are impactful to people. Cause if you walk into a store as a plus size body person and you've never seen your stuff in the front and you're like, am I in the back? And we're like, you're in the front. And you're like. Melissa Halpin (13:21.496) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (13:30.392) Right. Well, you know, speaking for myself, I have been a person who's plus size, standard size, plus size, standard size most of my life, but also petite. So it's like a double negative, right? First of all, you know, when I was a size 18, 20 petite, that size doesn't even exist. Right. And weirdly, even now, you know, I live in a, you know, a more standard size of like maybe more 10, 12 petite. Amanda Sweet (13:42.21) Yes. Melissa Halpin (14:00.566) even the head size doesn't really exist because somehow petite doesn't count for big boobs or it doesn't count for middle age or it doesn't count for curves and you know somehow the petite clothes are just made for very kind of petite androgynous bodies or something like yeah Amanda Sweet (14:02.798) It's so weird. Amanda Sweet (14:18.51) I don't even think any of those are real. I walk into stores and they only have extra small, small, medium, large. And I'm like, who is this for other than a teenager? Who is this really for? Is it for aesthetic? What is it for? And that's part of the reason why I wanna learn how to sew, because I'm really sick and tired of all the plus-size clothing that I find having one thing too much to make it just a little... Melissa Halpin (14:28.768) Right, right. Amanda Sweet (14:44.616) little off. Like I'm like, want the same thing that the other cool girls want. We just want it in a bigger size. Right? But you want to add Melissa Halpin (14:46.368) Yeah Melissa Halpin (14:51.84) Right. I feel like they almost have to add these details that tell you it's plus size, right? Like some weird extra doodad that, you know, we don't want that lace or we don't want horizontal stripes or we don't want a shiny button. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Amanda Sweet (14:57.518) I'm just saying, Yeah, I want the same thing, but just in my size, you know? So, and that's a whole conversation about inclusion and the need for diversity within like all spaces, you know? And so it's... Melissa Halpin (15:17.11) Yes. Yes. Amanda Sweet (15:22.094) it's just like scratch like definitely scratching the surface but like if you have the if you have the courage to just do stuff that makes you feel good doing it is an act of justice work and activism work because you being you and any state or situation out loud and in public is Melissa Halpin (15:36.172) Yes. Yes. Amanda Sweet (15:45.324) brave and will influence somebody or will impact or inspire somebody if not just you to keep doing what feels good you know Melissa Halpin (15:46.391) Right. Melissa Halpin (15:51.223) right. Melissa Halpin (15:55.256) I think, I mean, it's such an important and obviously timely conversation right now, inclusivity. And it is kind of, it goes hand in hand with a conversation we have here all the time at the Killing Project is about barriers. And I feel like one of the things that people don't understand about inclusivity is a conscious choice. And we're having this now national conversation about DEI. And I think even though a lot of the conversation is heartbreaking and devastating and enraging for me right now, I'm also grateful that we're having it. Because I think that non-inclusive environments are a barrier for everybody. For everybody. I've talked about this a couple times on this podcast and I've had this conversation as a parent, raising a boy and a girl, and raising a daughter who came in a different body than I came in, and raising a son who, I mean, God bless this kid, he's tall and fair skinned and blue-eyed and athletic and super smart, and the whole world is built for Miles. And you know what? There's barriers to that obligation. It's been very eye-opening to me of Amanda Sweet (17:17.976) Mm-hmm. Melissa Halpin (17:22.87) watching even when the world is built for miles. You know, there's something about this that sucks and diversity is a gift. And whenever we cutting ourselves up and defining ourselves, even if you're at the top of the food chain, which is an enviable place, and I don't want to dismiss the notions of the privilege that comes with that. Amanda Sweet (17:44.078) sure. Melissa Halpin (17:50.882) There's a barrier and a burden that comes with even that. So I just think there's some sort of breaking down of, you know, whether it's the plus size and the standard size or however it is we define and cut ourselves up and separate ourselves from inclusivity and diversity. That's the conversation we need to be having. Those are the barriers that keep us from our killing projects, from our passion projects. from being fly, from creating community, all the things that you and I are banded over, those are the barriers. Amanda Sweet (18:25.558) And I think we have a privilege to be able to commune people and to have a skill set in gathering. what I've learned is that through my, you know, up and down experience of experimenting. I now have the skill set to communicate, mentor, and support other people in that same process. And now more than ever, like, it's really important for me to make safe spaces for Black women, trans women, trans people, Black people, Brown people, immigrant people, like all kinds of like, but you said the word intentional diversity. And I had, I've had recent conversations with people Melissa Halpin (19:03.234) Yes. Melissa Halpin (19:10.839) Yes. Amanda Sweet (19:14.264) or they want to collaborate or they want to participate, whether it be at work, in my day job, or at the revamp on my passion job. And I bring to the forefront, one of our main priorities is inclusivity and diversity. And well, that'll just happen. Like, no, it doesn't just happen. It doesn't just happen. And if you believe that it just happens, you're not doing the work to make sure that it happens in a safe, comfortable, and inclusive way. And so intentional diversity and like, Melissa Halpin (19:31.032) It doesn't just happen. Melissa Halpin (19:38.552) Right. Amanda Sweet (19:44.116) Making it top of mind making it a part of the process making a part of operations making it apart is going to guarantee that it happens You know and so we had the last clothing swap on the 25th of January, and I just remember looking up at the sea of people and Like feeling this like overwhelming emotion of like Just like, this is what we look like. This is what we look like. This is what Detroit looks like. This is what Michigan looks like. This is what America looks like. And they're all here because they feel safe here. And like, it was a moment of like... Melissa Halpin (20:08.941) Right. Amanda Sweet (20:20.46) We did that, we made that, but it was a mission driven, it was like, we are doing this, this is how we're gonna build it, this is what we need to do by having black women in leadership, by having trans people on the team and in the leadership, like queer people in the leadership. The only way we can actually like build it is if we do it with intention, you know? And so it's like, it was this overwhelming emotion that like, I... Melissa Halpin (20:34.498) Yes. Melissa Halpin (20:40.822) Yes. Amanda Sweet (20:47.614) I know how to do this. Can I teach this? and that was like on the 25th, so it's only been several, like a couple days since the swap, but I'm like, now in my mind, I'm like, how do I teach this? And how do I make sure that this happens in every space that like either I participate in or everybody that's come to the swap? Like it is huge for me to make people feel so spoiled. Like everybody's like, you spoil your volunteers. I was like, yeah, I do. You spoil your models. Yeah, I do. I do. And they're like, you don't make any money. like, I don't like what I'm not only are we breaking generational curses, we're breaking, breaking current curses for creatives to be doing like Melissa Halpin (21:19.776) Yeah. Right. Melissa Halpin (21:25.133) Right. Amanda Sweet (21:32.144) Like, I don't have money to pay them, but you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to feed them every time that they have to drop everything and come and spend time with me. Like, you don't have to do that. I'm like, I know I don't have to do that, but they're not going to go to another space and be treated poorly and not paid and not fed. They're going to have new standards of operating and new standards. Yes. Yes. Melissa Halpin (21:40.098) Right. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (21:51.106) Right. Those intentions will grow. Right? Those intentions will grow. That kindling, you are going to build a huge fire, right? It's the little things that you do with intention that spread, truly. And I was thinking when you were talking about the importance of the intention and also understanding that I mean, to me, I don't even understand how diversity could ever be a bad word. It's such a beautiful word. It's such an inspiring word. mean, but the opposite of that is separation, separation and loneliness. And everybody experiences that. And so maybe there's some sort of, as we go through having this conversation with others and educating others and prioritizing and pushing back, maybe one. way that we can help people understand is the opposite of this separation. Is anybody actually out here champion loneliness? Amanda Sweet (22:59.278) It's... I think it's fear. I think it's fear. think also what I'm learning right now is that it creating the space is simple because all I have to do is ask the question like, how do I make your dreams come true? Like, how do I do that? And they're going to tell me what they want to do. Their kindling project, the thing that's guiding them, what their intuition wants to do that and why they haven't done it yet. And then I just have to open the door. We were talking about like opening doors and like I just have to open the door and say, you can do that. Melissa Halpin (23:13.88) Right. Melissa Halpin (23:28.312) Wait. Amanda Sweet (23:30.158) here and you can experiment here and we'll keep you we will make sure you won't fail you'll never fail if you collaborate with us we'll never get you to a point where you feel failure and if you feel failure let's work through it and understand that failure is the act of trying and that's a triumph in itself you know but like asking that question to everybody that is like I really want to do this like how can we make your dreams come true it's on the application what can we do you know and then actually Melissa Halpin (23:31.202) Bye. Melissa Halpin (23:36.439) Right. Melissa Halpin (23:48.002) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (23:56.493) Yes. Amanda Sweet (24:00.0) opening the door and releasing control of your baby as somebody who's like an organizer. I'm like the reading is my baby, but I have to be like my baby needs these people to become an adult to grow up. And so I need to just like, let go, sit back, let other people shine, let other people do what they're good at, let other people fail, you know, so to speak. But I think that's the way is like just Melissa Halpin (24:22.572) Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (24:29.23) letting go as a leader. Melissa Halpin (24:30.616) Yeah, you're really connected in tune with that sort of mothering, nurturing energy. Yeah, I feel it. Yes. Amanda Sweet (24:39.822) That's why the creative fairy godmother is the really real, like all the words are like, you know, you know, like, I like to fairy wings. I like to be a fairy, but I also like to like, you know, like I have a lot of people that are like, oh, the Brie and Amanda are mom and dad, mom and dad. That's mom and dad. I'm like, you know, even if they're only like a year or two younger than me, like. Melissa Halpin (24:46.072) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (24:51.565) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (24:58.232) I love that. Yeah, I often say, I mentioned to her just a minute ago, my dear friend Linda, who you modeled for, and you know, I always called her my fairy godmother. But that sort of godmother energy, and that mother energy and that nurturing energy, the world needs more of. Yeah, I don't think we should keep that just a child rearing in our culture. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (25:21.25) And I think we. Uh-uh. I feel like I know so many people that like I say the things that I really feel first of all like I do I've learned how to fall in love with everyone and like put myself aside and say like what in you can I love and I Also want to express that while we're together You know, I don't want to like wait till you leave or you're not here anymore to tell you how much I love you Tell you how proud I am of you. Tell you clap for you You know what? I mean like that stuff is like you can't hold Melissa Halpin (25:39.832) Okay. Melissa Halpin (25:50.114) Right. Amanda Sweet (25:56.0) that you can hold it in you can keep hush hush about it but like what's the point let it out and just move on with your life because that's speaking life into people is small and easy to do but it's impactful especially if people are coming from a long line of people who don't know how to do that you know like that's breaking generational curses like I believe in you you are capable I'm so proud of you I love you that kind of stuff is like Melissa Halpin (26:00.15) Right. Right. Melissa Halpin (26:07.192) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (26:14.68) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (26:24.271) Some people don't hear that. Melissa Halpin (26:25.762) Well, not just some people. I think it's the norm not to. I I think it flows naturally out of you. It flows naturally out of me. And so we can make the mistake of thinking this is the natural state. And it probably is the natural state, but the preferred or the socially acceptable way of being, I have found, and I think this is what makes us community builders, is I have been had the privilege of experiencing a lot of different communities, whether it's business incubators or masterminds or coaching groups or mom's groups, community groups. Like I'm a natural born joiner and I have been invited to stages and tables and places all my life or pushed into them. And it's a curious thing to get there and find Amanda Sweet (27:11.768) Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (27:26.348) that sort of closed, separate energy, that gatekeeping, that lack of community in communities. And I think it happens a lot to women, and I think it also, can't speak for this, but I've seen it happens a lot with minority women, that somehow there's only one spot at the table for you. And so it's just heartbreaking to me when you get to that table. Amanda Sweet (27:43.052) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (27:54.326) and there's another woman before you or another diverse person before you. And there's just this lack mentality of like, well, you can't both sit here because there's only one spot for us. And so that's a big barrier that I think that you're breaking that I'm breaking that, you know, I think it's just cracking. I think it's just cracking your false narrative. Amanda Sweet (28:16.598) Yeah, think fundamentally, like the tables are cracking and people are starting to like eat with their hands and make it themselves and figure it out themselves because the way that it work is working right now is not working anymore. Like it's very clear that the old old ways don't work anymore and they're trying and forcing it upon us. And I'm like, we just need to sit on the floor and eat in our laps. Like that's we don't even need a table. Do we need to even be indoors? Like we need to be Melissa Halpin (28:24.16) Yes, exactly. Melissa Halpin (28:33.399) Right. Amanda Sweet (28:46.514) outside with each other, sharing our food, using our hands, you know, and that's just very like metaphorical to the, but also yeah, like let's go, you know, try something different. But yeah, the making space at the table, like inviting people into spaces, like I'm constantly like, I'm just gonna invite everybody. Melissa Halpin (28:47.917) Right. Amanda Sweet (29:07.086) like, how many tickets can I get for, how many tickets can I get? Like, and I'm just like, as many as possible, just get in, get in, get in. If I'm in, doors, like I'm keeping my foot in the door, right? Being like, here you go, here you go. Cause it doesn't, like, none of us are better when we are exclusive. Melissa Halpin (29:17.238) Yeah, yeah. Melissa Halpin (29:26.272) Yeah, we've all experienced sitting in a room or sitting in a circle where it was uncomfortable. We didn't feel welcome or we had to somehow conform in a way that was disingenuous and compromising to ourselves. we don't have time for that, Amanda, not any. Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (29:47.47) It takes a lot of mental space for a lot of people, including myself. Like last year I spoke at a beautiful women's conference and it's a very corporate organization, it, you know, like filled with women, very focused on like inclusion and growth and expression. But it also, it's like the people that are participating work for companies that are old school corporate. And I came in like a bright red dress and a pill box hat and I was like, but fighting with myself and I remember like I hired Dell a lot to come with me and the first thing she said when she saw me she was like, you look conservative today. Right? I'm wearing like a like floral gown with a pillbox hat with my sneakers and I had, you know, it was a cool fit, but she clocked me so fast. She was like, you look conservative today and I was like, yeah, because Melissa Halpin (30:39.202) Right. Amanda Sweet (30:44.044) near 40 minutes ago, I was fighting with how expressive I wanted to be. You know, I toned it down a bit and somebody who knows. Sure, but like she knows me and she knows how I show up and she was like, Melissa Halpin (30:48.226) So you toned it down a bit. And it still probably wasn't toned down for your average bear, but yeah. Melissa Halpin (30:59.607) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (30:59.982) But I walked into the space, of course, like I was anticipating getting faces and looks and judgments, you know, and I have my armor to protect me from that, even though it's still hard. But the first person that I bumped into looked at me. Her mouth was open and she held my, she put her hands on my shoulders and she was like, I see you. And she was like, she was getting emotional like immediately, like within seconds. She was like, Melissa Halpin (31:11.298) Right. Amanda Sweet (31:28.344) thank you for showing up like this. She's like, I was gonna wear pink suit today. She was in a gray suit. And she was like, and I chose not to. And I chose not to because I didn't wanna stick out. And here you are sticking out and speaking to my spirit. She was like, I'm so mad at myself for not listening to me. Melissa Halpin (31:45.528) right? Amanda Sweet (31:51.052) I'm so mad at myself for not listening to me, because I could have felt myself, felt good, wore the thing I wanted to wear, and then attracted the people that are like-minded. She's like, but instead I decided to fit in, and I'm glad that you're not. And she's like, and next time I'm going to wear that pink suit. And I was like, yeah, girl. But that was just me. And even then, I still toned it down. But that kind of stuff happens when you're like, no, I'm not going to go full gray suit. I will never go full gray suit. Melissa Halpin (32:04.44) Wow. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (32:12.642) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (32:21.096) corporate, like that is just not, you're not hired to do that. don't, that's not why I'm there. But for her, she was like, and then next thing I know, my old boss walks in, the same boss that said I would never be successful if I keep showing up the way that I look. And I was like, she's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm seeing this event. Melissa Halpin (32:23.264) going to happen, right? Right. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (32:44.206) You know, and it was like, she was like, whoa, yeah. And she was like, is it making you nervous that I'm here? I was like, no, absolutely not. I'm so glad that I got to see you. I'm so glad that you're here. You should probably sit in the front row if you want to all the good vibes. Because there was thousands of people there. And I was like. Melissa Halpin (32:45.144) What a triumph. Melissa Halpin (32:58.412) Right. Amanda Sweet (33:02.392) You know what, all the trauma that I worked through thanks to you, like this is now who I've become. I'm really glad that you got to see it. And thank you. You know, I didn't say all that, but in my mind I was like, my God. Like at first I was like, my God, my old boss that was a bully to me is here. what do I do? And then I was like, I be me. I get to be me. Melissa Halpin (33:02.434) you Melissa Halpin (33:14.263) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (33:20.364) The fact that this worked out for you and that you're sharing this story in this conversation is giving permission, right? And that sometimes is all we need is, you know, tell that other woman that the pink suit would have been the right choice. It would have been fine. It would have been better. It would have felt good. Yeah. Yeah. It's the little things. It's the little things. Amanda Sweet (33:36.098) Yes. Amanda Sweet (33:43.63) But the little things lead to big things. And we were talking about it at the last, in the last episode, like baby steps are still steps. And like small actions compound. Melissa Halpin (33:51.03) Right, right. Melissa Halpin (33:55.276) Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (33:55.406) You know, and if you can get in the press, what's the book, Atomic Habits? You're supposed to get like 1 % better every day. If you do like 1 % active rebellion every day, like to break societal norms and to activate people's psyches, by the end of the year, you've done a lot. know? Yeah. Melissa Halpin (34:00.086) Yep. Yep. Melissa Halpin (34:14.198) Right, and you went full circle because you had that boss tell you that your level of dress and self-expression was gonna hold you back. And you stood on a stage in a room with that boss. Maybe not your full expression that day, maybe you edited a bit, but I still think that hat and that red dress and those flowers, you know, it wasn't that edited. Right? mean, Del knows you intimately. She senses a little editing, I doubt the rest of the world picked up on that. So there's this whole circle expression, right? Yeah, it's still rebellion. I love that. Amanda Sweet (34:39.463) It was definitely like... Amanda Sweet (34:45.202) Yeah, you know, it was still all exactly. It was still all my stuff, you know? Yeah, yeah, but it's you know, like we can't and I had in that moment of seeing her, I had to remind myself that like the the narrative that she's spewing to or did. put onto me and other people around her was something that somebody else put on her. And that's not my responsibility to carry for the rest of my life. You know, like I can't carry her, her trauma. Melissa Halpin (35:09.803) you Melissa Halpin (35:16.94) No. No, it's your responsibility to show up authentically and offer an alternative. Right. Amanda Sweet (35:24.738) Yes. So it was huge full circle. And I feel like I forgave her in that moment. I was very much holding on a grudge for a long time about that experience. Melissa Halpin (35:32.344) Right, right. Amanda Sweet (35:35.17) But I was like, you're just a girl. You're just a girl who had mean parents and had a hard life. And this is the best that you can do. you created a, you said this to me. You said this to me the first time I met you. And I've been saying it ever since. And I just remembered that it was you. So you said to me once, mothers hit their ceiling and their ceiling is the floor for their children. Melissa Halpin (35:37.59) Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (35:45.357) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (36:05.31) I believe you said that to me. Am I correct? And I was like, holy cow, like all of these women, this woman is at her ceiling and she gave me her ceiling that I get to jump and run out. Melissa Halpin (36:07.084) I think that sounds like something I say. Melissa Halpin (36:19.948) Take it there, take it from there. Right. Amanda Sweet (36:21.836) Yeah, and so like she did everything she could to teach me as much as she possibly could. And she taught me a lot about corporate America, about bosses, about dynamic, you know. And I've been saying that quote ever since and I couldn't remember who told it to me. It was you. Melissa Halpin (36:28.406) Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (36:38.732) Yeah. Well, that, that woman also experienced a full circle moment, right? I don't doubt for a minute that seeing you in all your glory and all your fashion quirkiness and self-expression was a lesson for her too. I don't doubt. And, and, and, and I guess this is good to remember and helps us get to places of acceptance and forgiveness. That mean thing that somebody says to you is often coming out of their own pain, their own conformity, their own conditioning. They're working through something and you just happen to be there as part of the lesson for them. Amanda Sweet (37:24.398) Yeah, and I held on to that, the things that she would say to me for a really long time. And that's not the first time I bumped into her. And I often felt scared to partner and work with some of the groups that I knew that her company partnered with. And because of that exact reason, I oh, I'm gonna bump into her. I'm gonna bump into this person, bump into that person. Like, I don't really wanna, you know, feeling like icky, like, ugh, you know, and. Melissa Halpin (37:30.198) Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (37:40.193) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (37:43.703) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (37:48.504) What? Amanda Sweet (37:50.87) And after that, was like, can, can, like, not only am I like sharing my story to thousands of people and I got hired to do this, but like, also I could do it in front of my bully ex-boss, you know, like I could do anything. I could do anything. Melissa Halpin (38:01.888) Yeah, right. You can do anything. You can do anything. I hate that kind of messaging that women get about how we're supposed to show up. And I have also experienced the conformity of the gray suit. mean, so much as a businesswoman and, you know, we're very much virtual now, but there was a period of time where we're doing a lot more in person work. And not showing up in a jacket. I mean, even if it's not a suit, but some sort of vocabulary or uniform or cue of, I'm an executive, I can take charge here. I can be trusted with your money, with your creativity, with your business secrets is associated with a jacket. And I have in my closet at least 25. Amanda Sweet (38:53.72) Just so weird. Melissa Halpin (39:01.014) jackets. And when I first tried to start buying suits and jackets, you know, gosh, it's 30 years ago now, the choices were much more conforming to like, male gender, you know, even in the women's department, it was like a blue pantsuit or a gray pantsuit, you know, was sort of the Hillary Clinton, the dress for success, the business lady suit. Amanda Sweet (39:22.508) Yeah. Yeah, sure. Melissa Halpin (39:27.256) And one, it never fit my body right as like a plus size or a petite size woman. It never fit my character. But over time, I've been able to sort of straddle the line before. Yes, there's a uniform. Yes, there's a certain level of structure that communicates authority. But how do I still find a way to do that? Like? you know, maybe it's a burnt orange velvet jacket or maybe, you know, maybe it has like some rough seams or has something interesting about it or maybe it's a piece of jewelry. So I still am walking that line. And hopefully in a less compromising way for myself that, okay, if I'm going to a board meeting, if I'm going to a conference table, if I'm pitching a big project, I do understand the vocabulary. I can't speak to people in a language that they don't share with me. But how do I just, you know, make the compromises and still communicate and then not be compromised? And I think that's, I think that it's not just in our clothes, right? It's in everything. Amanda Sweet (40:37.422) like the language thought. I think I'm doing the opposite. I think I'm like... whatever, you know, like I will wear a jacket. Like I emceed another like beautiful women's conference, but I was wearing like a red leather moto jacket and I was wearing like a zebra print dress and I was, and I talked and usually because I've gotten so much like negative feedback from the previous employer about like how I show up. And when I was showing up back then, I was not the version of me that I am now as a very toned down version, a very unaware person. But Melissa Halpin (40:49.016) Thank Melissa Halpin (40:54.829) Right. Melissa Halpin (41:11.405) Right. Amanda Sweet (41:12.778) You know, now I'm like, when people hire me, I'm like, is there a like dress code? If the dress code is this, like, are you comfortable with me? And usually people are like, yes, come, like Amanda Sweet, the creative fairy godmother. Like, and when I hear that, like, and a lot of times it's funny because I call myself, like, I'll say like, am I going full fairy? Am I going full drag? Like, are we going to go all the way in or we're going to go somewhere in the middle? But I do think, like, like I did a big pitch competition for TechTown and I wore a suit jacket. Melissa Halpin (41:26.018) Right. Melissa Halpin (41:31.798) Right. Amanda Sweet (41:42.624) But it had bedazzled and I wore like a cute it was like dazzled down the front. It was a long one I wore this like super cool funky hat with a colorful dress underneath and my sneakers that match and I was like, you know what like If this is the world like if I have to wear a suit jacket And we're to get the business like that I don't know if I want your business and if my suit jacket is a bedazzled suit jacket that I got from Salvation Army from you know, I bought like an estate sale full of clothes Melissa Halpin (42:00.802) Right. Right. Amanda Sweet (42:12.608) from a woman who was plus size. She was a black, beautiful black woman. She had all kinds of like beautiful church like garb. Melissa Halpin (42:21.101) Church lady loves this. Amanda Sweet (42:22.074) church lady like the church lady I like bought her whole collection and I was like these are the jackets I want to wear they're all rhinestone they have decor they have like if I'm gonna wear a jacket it's gonna be one of those and it's not gonna and I I don't have a lot of rules for myself but I do have one rule and I will never wear a gray suit ever if you see me in a gray suit call somebody Melissa Halpin (42:33.9) Right. Right. Melissa Halpin (42:45.602) Something's gone horribly wrong. You've been kidnapped. Amanda Sweet (42:50.88) And that because this theory of the gray suit is like, like that is not me and that's not the business I want. And I don't want to be working in environment like that. That is the expectation, you know? And so like, it's just an interesting, you know, and we have different clientele also, you know? So that changes it. But yeah, the, the, I, I'm working on a book and I was working on a book about style and I think I'm pivoting, but at the time I was like, I kind of wanted to call it like I'll never wear gray suit. Melissa Halpin (42:58.296) Right, right. Melissa Halpin (43:07.458) Right. Right. Amanda Sweet (43:20.784) or like no gray suits allowed or something like that, interestingly enough, because that, you know, that feedback came with a bag, a garbage bag full of gray suits that got put in my cubicle and I was asked to try them on for my executive director. And at 22 years old, I was like, okay, you know, and like, had it been a man, Melissa Halpin (43:24.62) Right. Melissa Halpin (43:28.95) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (43:33.57) Mm-hmm. Melissa Halpin (43:43.512) It's traumatizing. Amanda Sweet (43:45.711) We were in a boardroom and she was like, just put them on on top of your clothes. But if he was a man, if she was a man, I would have like a beautiful lawsuit on my hands. But because she was a woman, this is a different leader in that same organization. She was being motherly. She was being, she was taking care of me. She was mentoring me. But she put, she was trying to be helpful, but she took all of her old gray suits. She was retiring that year. She put them in a garbage bag and she put them in my cube and was like, at two o'clock, we're going to try these on. Melissa Halpin (43:56.077) Right. Melissa Halpin (44:02.968) who's trying to be helpful. Amanda Sweet (44:15.79) I was like, what? What do you mean? But at that age, I was like, I didn't know that I was supposed to go to HR for that. I didn't know it was inappropriate to be in a conference room with another person. Even though I was putting clothes on top of my clothes, I'm still dressing and undressing. And so that is part of the reason why I'm like, it's... Melissa Halpin (44:16.636) Amanda. Well, Amanda. Melissa Halpin (44:34.538) to address you. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (44:42.55) I told my direct boss about this and she's like, we didn't know she was gonna do it like that. And I was like, well you knew she was gonna do it though. So you guys were talking about, you know, so like, it's so, it's such like that stuff is acceptable, but like showing up authentically is not. You know? Melissa Halpin (44:53.537) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (45:00.834) Right, yeah. And I mean, I can accept that there's certain environments where there's a uniform, right? And if you're a pilot, if you're a surgeon, a waitress, and if you go into the opportunity or the employer knowing that there's a uniform and that you've decided that you want to put that uniform on, that's totally different than what happened to you, right? Amanda Sweet (45:06.69) Sure, yes. Amanda Sweet (45:15.0) Sure. Melissa Halpin (45:30.264) And also, there is a corporate uniform, but I think that that's more and more going away, more and more going away. Amanda Sweet (45:37.23) Oh yeah. I mean, there's no reason for it and we're not making enough money. Like unless you give me a stipend, a suit stipend, like. Melissa Halpin (45:43.362) Mm-hmm. Yes. Right. Amanda Sweet (45:46.754) When there's no uniform policy, you know, other than business capital, like, who gets to decide that? You know, and it's all, it might sound like a frivolous or materialistic conversation, but I think it, like, that surface level for so many other deeper rooted, exclusive conversation that's happening in corporate America. Melissa Halpin (45:49.398) Right. Melissa Halpin (45:53.633) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (46:06.506) Yes, yes. Yeah, let's not mistake this for a frivolous conversation just about dressing because there is... The dressing is an outward expression of the inside self and that's really what we're about, both of us, is the inside self. Amanda Sweet (46:29.102) you can't wear this and you're also not allowed to wear your hair natural and you're also not allowed to show up like XYZ like those are all parts of the conversation and yeah that's why like that's why I like to throw festivals that's why I like to throw parties because we get to be in our play self you know and we'll make a safe place for your play self to be as expressive as you want you know and not be judged for it you know Melissa Halpin (46:33.247) Right. Melissa Halpin (46:40.152) Right. Melissa Halpin (46:48.557) Right. Melissa Halpin (46:57.762) Yeah, yeah. How do you think that's playing out right now, like culturally and on a bigger scale? Do you feel like a retraction of that? Or do you feel like through the work you're doing, there's an expansion? Because I go back and forth where I see the my kids, I see the culture that my kids grew up in is so much more open, you know, about everything, whether it's about gender, whether it's about self-expression. whether it's about diversity, so much more open than what I experienced just 20, 30 years before them. But then I also feel like culturally, or in a time with this presidency and with the national narrative, feels like a very, very scary contraction and closing and cutting off and burning down of that progress. Amanda Sweet (47:57.07) just trying to of how I want to answer it. I feel like social media has a lot of power to dictate what we believe is the main narrative. When in reality, I could go tell my husband, have you seen this viral video that's everywhere on every single page? Everybody I know is talking about it he's like, no, never heard of it. And he lives in my same house. And so when I think about... Melissa Halpin (48:23.799) late. Amanda Sweet (48:26.808) D &I initiatives getting rolled back and things like that and I like how I can use like my dollar to participate in resistance like you know, I think about my community community first like who do I know that selling this product that is the person that's sitting next to me that's been struggling to get their small business off the ground this whole time, you know that I should have been spending my money on with anyway, you know, and like if we can look to our neighbors for like support and resources Melissa Halpin (48:50.2) right? Melissa Halpin (48:54.136) All Amanda Sweet (48:56.864) I think if we get off of the media, if we get off of, and I know we're making media and content right now, but if you get into the present and into the world and look at your neighbor and ask them like, do you know another resource for this? Or do you know somebody that makes this? Or do you know where else I can go to shop for this? You will get answers that are like... They're not only local, but it impacts your local economy, impacts your local expression. I'd much rather go to, and this is something that I learned and I have a privilege to do now that I have expendable money, but I can work with a local designer and be like, design this for me, and make this for me, and let's buy the fabrics from here, and let's do this. I do recognize that it is a huge privilege, but there are a lot of designers out there, especially in Detroit, that are making clothes clothing and products that are affordable and would be happy and willing to work with people on their rates just to get it out of their house. know? And so what do I think about the larger conversation about expression and like DE &I? I think depending on the way your algorithm works and depending on the day, the algorithm can say what it is and what it looks like. But I think the most important thing is to go outside and open your eyes. Melissa Halpin (49:48.482) Right. Melissa Halpin (49:53.378) right? Melissa Halpin (50:14.232) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (50:14.688) and see what the experiences that you are having, what your neighbors are having. And I feel like very blessed to be in a job position where during the interview, I work at Bamboo during the day and Amanda's amazing, but she's also like only a couple of years older than me. We're both in our thirties and I was like, what is the attire? Like we talked about the attire on that interview for a long time because I had been so bullied over those years at the previous job that I was in about the way I looked. Melissa Halpin (50:17.879) Right. Melissa Halpin (50:31.085) Right. Melissa Halpin (50:35.49) Thank Melissa Halpin (50:43.288) Right. Amanda Sweet (50:44.592) and she kept reassuring me. She's like, there's no dress code. You just have to be wearing clothes. And I'm like, but are you sure about that? Like, tell me what you really need. Like, and I'm like, can you say it, but in a different way? Can you say it again? But like upside down, like tell me the truth. Like, what do you really, you know? And she's like, I really don't care. Just wear clothes. Like, you know. Melissa Halpin (50:50.902) Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Melissa Halpin (51:04.536) I love her. I've known her for a very long time too. When I moved from San Francisco to Detroit, our very first office was at the original Bamboo in Detroit. So I think that that's such an act of love and acceptance. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (51:13.912) So. Amanda Sweet (51:19.81) It is, it's a small leadership practice, but it gives me autonomy, gives me authority, it gives me choice, gives me the authority as a leader that she hired to do the same thing for my employees, right? So I'd be able turn around and be like, come as you are, your dress and your attire do not dictate the quality of your work, the way you look, the way your hair looks, the way your makeup looks, the way you, you know, Melissa Halpin (51:38.456) light. Amanda Sweet (51:49.536) Like if you show up in sweats one day, like that's how you show up. It's not gonna change the quality of the way that you work because we hired you because you are right for the job and you're bringing something beautiful to the table that we can't do, you know? And so she's given me the gift of being able to release that old way of thinking so that now I get to... Melissa Halpin (51:53.911) right. Melissa Halpin (52:09.432) Thank Amanda Sweet (52:11.342) I get to inspire and participate in that in the building. And I even get that from our members. They come in and they're like, the way you show up every day has changed the way that I show up every day. And I hear that from so many members. Like, I wore this outfit because I thought you would like it. I'm like, do you like it? Because you look cute. You look cute. But like, do you like it? And like, I feel really good today. I'm like, okay, what are you going to wear tomorrow? You know, and it's... Melissa Halpin (52:27.352) yeah. Melissa Halpin (52:35.009) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (52:35.744) It's so silly and it's so small, but it's so big and it's so meaningful. Melissa Halpin (52:40.234) It's so big. Yeah, that's the fairy dust that you're sprinkling. I mean, we said this in the first part of our conversation on your show, but I just want to sort of paraphrase your husband. This dressing thing for you is your art. It really is. It's your creativity. It's why you're here. You're sprinkling your fairy dust through your outfits and your presence and how you're showing up, how that makes people feel. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (52:56.002) Yeah. Amanda Sweet (53:07.854) but it's the permission. I'm giving myself permission to do it and other people see me doing it and giving myself permission. I also got permission from my employer. Working at Bamboo has been so transformative for me. I was coming in, I was dressing like business casual, and at one point I was like, I'm gonna challenge myself to wear no black for a week and see what happens. Melissa Halpin (53:11.16) Mm-hmm. Yes. Amanda Sweet (53:29.682) And it's small, but it's a big deal because I wouldn't have been experimenting with my personal style at my last job. I would be getting ready for work. I would be doing the appropriate attire. And I did that. And my whole wardrobe changed. The way I thought about the way I look changed. I found my brand colors. I found my brand voice through, I really like orange. I really like pink. I really like bright. I've been told my whole life I have to wear black so I can look thin. Melissa Halpin (53:41.08) Conforming. Yes. Melissa Halpin (54:00.094) Ugh. Wow. Amanda Sweet (54:01.027) And it just, another small little change, but it was like earth shattering for me to be able to say like, oh, I get to try this and nobody's gonna judge me for trying this. And nobody's even gonna know that I'm trying this, but I know I'm trying this. And then I like learn about myself. bamboo has changed my life. Melissa Halpin (54:16.952) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (54:21.912) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (54:25.496) I love how you shared these small moments and small lessons and they're really the important big things that are happening in the world right now. Yeah. I like this whole idea of inside outside and turning off your little screen and looking at the world around you and showing up in it in a specific way. And I do think these are the answers. I think when we're looking for answers, it's overwhelming and the problems are so big and so overwhelming. But the solutions might be fairly easy. Yeah, fairly easy. We can ease into them. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (55:05.196) I think. Yes. And we can step in our own pace. You know, like I have a really great friend who's also a community person. name is Jacob Evans. And he said something at engagement once and he was like, not everybody's a protester. That's not where their strength is. If your strength is design or graphic design, like then you make the flyer or if your strength is community building, then you send the emails. If your strength is music, then you Melissa Halpin (55:25.933) Right. Amanda Sweet (55:37.226) provide the vibes for that, you know, like, there's parts of my spirit where I'm like, should I be outside, like marching, but I know that that's not my strength. And I'm learning where my strength is to be a real activist. And then I'm using it in a way that feels natural and comfortable so that it actually does activate people, you know, but I didn't find that by being like, I'm an activist. Melissa Halpin (55:49.398) Right. Melissa Halpin (55:53.922) Right. Melissa Halpin (55:57.762) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (56:02.038) Right, right. Yeah, I struggle with activism and extroversion. as you know, we're in a phase where all of us as entrepreneurs are being told to get on stages and to write books and to be the face of your own brand. And I think if I heard it right, what your friend Jacob was saying is more how I view myself as a builder, a maker, a creator. Even though Amanda Sweet (56:06.188) I'm gonna do that, you know? Melissa Halpin (56:34.2) Here I am, I'm hosting a podcast and I do stand on stages and I do speak on panels, but it's not my natural affinity. I really see myself behind an easel, behind a computer, building the stage for others, setting the table for others. That's really actually my natural state is it's a creative director, it's an overseer, it's a producer. Amanda Sweet (56:42.552) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (57:03.326) Nothing is more satisfying than me than standing back and letting the work speak for itself. And it's not to say that women whose work is doing the speaking, that's a beautiful gift. Like you had that gift, a lot of women have that gift. But I'm squirrely and weird and uncomfortable and I don't like how I look on camera and I would rather, you know, I would rather be behind the curtain. And so, and it's no less important. Amanda Sweet (57:16.738) Yeah. Melissa Halpin (57:32.938) In fact, and maybe this is my ego speaking, that work has the control over the outcome a lot of times. Even the best speakers and the best artists and the best athletes and the best performers are somewhat beholden to the director or the producer. And we need creatives and open-mindedness and experimentation on that side. and the executive functioning side of all things. Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Sweet (58:04.11) Yeah. I think we need each other. I think it's a full circle. We all need each other, especially if you want to do something big and impactful. Like you will go further with more people, with collaboration. Somebody had a, there's a quote out there that's like, if you want to go fast, do it alone. If you want to go, if you want to make an impact, do it with others, you know? And so like you have to, you know, this, the, the speaker needs a community. Melissa Halpin (58:10.488) Right. Melissa Halpin (58:14.73) Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Halpin (58:27.574) Yeah, I've seen that too. Amanda Sweet (58:35.892) of people to speak to. If they're not community act, like if they're not event curators, like they're gonna be talking to nobody, you know? And event curators need the entertainment or the talent, otherwise there's nothing for them to watch, you know? Like we all need each other and I feel like... Melissa Halpin (58:37.676) Right. Melissa Halpin (58:44.664) Okay. Amanda Sweet (58:55.726) It's okay not to have one strength. Strength and weaknesses are a part of being human. And it's when we can appreciate what our strengths are instead of worrying how to make our weaknesses better that we can make space for somebody to come in and be like, oh, I'm really good at this thing. And I'm like, I suck at that. I'm so glad that you're here because I am not good at this thing. Here you go. Enjoy it. Love it. Melissa Halpin (59:04.376) Mm-hmm. Melissa Halpin (59:08.92) Mm-hmm. Melissa Halpin (59:17.376) Bye! Amanda Sweet (59:25.68) have fun with it because I cannot be happier to be done with it you know Melissa Halpin (59:30.936) This is a perfect way to summarize this conversation that honoring diversity. Yeah, respecting individuality, being inclusive. I love how this is to sort of wrapped itself up in a neat bow. Yeah. And I'm so glad. I'm so glad I got to talk to you for two hours today. What a gift. I hope the things that we're sharing and that Amanda Sweet (59:54.158) So, Melissa Halpin (59:59.808) inspire us, inspire other people. And I totally encourage everyone to check out Let's Glow and check out Amanda's community, check out the Killing Project community, or find your own community. The communities that we're creating, we're doing with heart, we're doing with soul, we're doing them with diversity and inclusion, but they still might not be right for you. And the real message here is you know, your place and invite others. However small that little piece of the pie is for you, like carve it out and nurture it and it'll grow. It'll grow. Amanda Sweet (01:00:45.198) Amen. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you. This has been very fun. Very fun. Do a little show. Melissa Halpin (01:00:49.588) It's been super fun. Yeah, that it's been super fun. Well, I know that we will be back together again soon. And I want to thank everybody for joining us today. You can check out the Kinnling Project podcast wherever you download podcasts. You can also join our private Facebook group. You can find us on social media. You can look at our event calendar on our website. And then you can Amanda, do you want to tell them where they can find you? Amanda Sweet (01:01:14.99) So you can find me on Instagram at Amanda sweet live you can find the revamp clothing swap festivals at read dot BAMP dot Detroit or if you just type in revamp Detroit in your search by your ship bar It should pop right up. We are changing our domain name. We changed it last night So we are now officially the revamp org so find us on our website there We're just coming to bamboo. I'm usually there Monday through Friday except on Wednesdays. I come a little late because we do the last glow show Melissa Halpin (01:01:37.186) alone. Melissa Halpin (01:01:43.712) And we'll put all of her links in the show notes as well. So have a wonderful day and come back soon. Amanda Sweet (01:01:47.96) Thank you so much.